It was the best movie I had ever seen.
Ok, maybe not the BEST movie I had ever seen, because
I had obviously seen STAR WARS and INDIANA JONES,
but, you get it, right?
THE GOONIES CHANGED MY LIFE
Not only did I sneak in to see it FIVE TIMES in the theatres
(Along with INNER SPACE and THE UNTOUCHABLES),
but I had:
-The GOONIES Soundtrack on tape (With Cyndi Lauper's "Good Enough")
- The GOONIES MAgazine (Where they discussed the DELETED SCENE with the Octopus)
and I ruined SEVERAL pairs of sneakers trying to make :Slick Shoes" and other
"Inventions" to make my great getaway from any bad guys.
I WANTED TO GO ON ADVENTURES LIKE THEM
And if you remember well, they were on the verge of losing
their homes, and they only had the power of friends, hope,
and a MAP that was left by a one-eyed pirate.
Well.,... if you have EVER wanted to be a GOONIE, today
is your lucky day because...
I AM ONE-EYED WILLY!
And I have a MAP to a buried treasure!
It doesn't RHYME like the treasure map,
and there are no "Booty traps" to set off,
and the are no REALLY DISGUSTING PEOPLE
(maybe you've heard of them- the Fratellies) chasing
after you...
But there IS RICH STUFF!
And you don't need Brand and his bucket
you don't need Brand and his new bike
All you need is some GUTS and some willingness
to DO THE TRUFFLE SHUFFLE and...
NEVER SAY DIE.
HERE's your treasure map:
and follow it to the RICH STUFF.
-I'll see you on the inside, and remember-
"SLOTH LOVE CHUNK!"