Today is Black Friday, and the stores are selling, selling, selling. Well today, I felt like I should be helping someone, and I realized that I have stuff to sell, and I could help people along the way...
One of my best books- "Half-Assed Health- How To Look Good Naked -WITHOUT Starving, Suffering, or Surgery" is available today for $4.99, and for every purchase, I'm going to give someone a 10-minute consultation, AND donate a dollar towards the Stevens Johnson Syndrome Foundation.
When you buy HALF ASSED HEALTH, you'll realize how the Workout industry just churns people and makes money from their misery, making things FAR more complicated than thy need to be, so they can continue to make money on people's fears.
IT"S IN THEIR INTEREST TO MAKE THINGS COMPLICATED!
In my book, I break down the SIMPLEST, EASIEST and FASTEST ways to change your body- and you can read it in ONE sitting.
Many people don't know this, but when I was little I had Stevens-Johnson Syndrome, and it's a horrible disease. In me, it was a reaction to Penicillin and what happens is that your body actually BURNS ITSELF from the inside out. The people have to go to the BURN UNIT, and are treated for relief- there is no cure. Manute Bol died of it, as many people do.
80% of people are left blind in one or both eyes, and it's pretty traumatizing. I was in the hospital for 2 months, and went to school very late into 1st grade, where all the kids thought I was very dirty (My skin was all different colors).
Anyway, I hope you'll watch the video, and use $5 of non-shopping to help me make a small difference to some sick people, and get SEXY-LOOKING at the same time!
Friday, November 23, 2012
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Lucky Guy?
So, when a guy gets married, it’s polite to call him “Lucky“.
“Oh, she’s a great lady- you’re a LUCKY guy!” people say. And whereas I’m sure it’s true sometimes, why is it that we say that? It’s not much of a compliment to the woman, now is it? “Oh, well- you got that girl, who OBVIOUSLY is an idiot, otherwise she wouldn't have picked YOU!”
That’s an insult to both of them, isn't it?
Like, he’s LUCKY that she had NO OTHER OPTIONS to choose from?
Well, I got news for you, and on behalf of all of us guys who were “lucky” enough to find some great women-
IT TAKES BALLS.
So maybe we were “lucky” enough that we HAD THE BALLS to ask out our women, court them, romance them, and eventually marry them. Maybe we were “lucky” enough not to let the opportunity pass us by, and instead put our hearts on the line and commit despite the fact that NO man actually wants to do that (yeah, I said it).
Maybe we were “lucky” enough that when she was crying we CARED and let her have a shoulder and a manly, soothing, protective hug.
Maybe we were “Lucky” enough to tell our friends “she’s the one” and tell the other women “sorry, I’m taken”.
But that hasn’t been my experience. For me, everytime I’ve found myself with a woman, it took some sort of RISK, I took a CHANCE, and it took BALLS for me to get there.
Saying hello takes BALLS.
Asking for her name when all you want to do is rip off her clothes takes BALLS.
Leaning in for the first kiss takes BALLS.
Saying “I don’t know what the future holds, but dammit, I want to spend it with you, and I’ll do whatever I can to put a smile on your face” TAKES BALLS.
And women like men with BALLS.
So yeah, I know some guys who are ultra-duds and they’re with some hot but so-desperate-I-was-getting-older-and-I-wanted-to-get-married women who were lucky to be in the right place at the right time, but even then- it took BALLS.
So next time you hear someone say that to a guy, just remember that even if he’s a sloppy, slovenly, dumb, ugly, unmotivated, broke loser- at some point, he had some BALLS.
and to BE LUCKY TAKES BALLS.
So- do you have what it takes to get LUCKY?
It’s like growing a business- sure, some guys get lucky, but some guys GROW SOME BALLS AND GO FOR IT.
Will You?'
P.S- If you’re a guy who “Got Lucky” with his woman, why not pass this around- no one will think you’re being arrogant, and if they do- f*ck ‘em! BALLS.
P.P.S- By the way, ALLLLLL of this stands for women too. And for women, it can be even harder, because you’re not expected to “Have Balls” I mean, the metaphor is… BALLS! Maybe we should call them “OVARIES”!
Thursday, November 15, 2012
The Moment It All Changes
This feels unfinished, but doesn't everything...?
*****************
As this book opens, we see you reading it. The surrounding areas are a picture of your life right now. This is the beginning of our movie, and you’re the star- we know this because we’ve started with you, sitting there, reading this.
The thing is, we flash back to that time you wanted to do something, that thing you wanted to do, we see scenes of your life where you have failed over and over, and we see how those times, and what you learned during them have brought you to your current life- sitting there reading this,
But now we see you take a deep breath.
You let it out slowly- with resolve, you look at the camera and say:
Today is going to be different!
That thing you wanted to do today, that thing that you were going to put off- that reason that you bought this book, in the small hopes that it would get you off your ass to go TRY- that reason is now the thing you ARE going to do. You have no doubt about it-
The audience swells in a little cheer as we see you take another deep breath, look to camera and say- YES- I WILL!!
The couple in the front row hold each other a little tighter, because your resolve has spread to them- he’;s going to be a better husband, she is going to be a better wife. Your resolve to finally go do that thing you really, really want to try has given them courage to be better for each other.
The old man in the middle seat smiles wide, his wrinkles and age spots coming together in a dance like the stars on the night sky, remembering a time when he went for it- that girl, that job, that small showing of courage and telling life that he would not be denied. His feeling reminds him of what it is like to be alive, and he too resolves that he is not dead- dammit, if he can watch a movie, and he can breath, then dammit- he can still go do it!
You smile at your audience, knowing that you have done this for them, and you immediately get started on your plan. You know that every montage needs a list of actions, and most have a paper plan- step 1- is always to begin, even if the hero doesn’t know what to do.
so you start. My god, the makeup people have done a fantastic job because you look amazing. The lighting people have this glow that is coming from you, the music swells, and the camera pans in to watch you working hard towards your goal. We all know that you will make it if you keep it up.
You begin with excitement and energy; you feel like you are a new person, and you are- you are now one of those people who does the thing- not anymore being someone who SAYS they’re “going to” or a non-whatever- you are an actual member of that elite group- you call yourself by one of those titles even before you have actually finished because you know you will accomplish it, you just haven’t caught up to that moment in time yet.
We are watching your montage- you have never been so attractive because your light shines from the inside, your resolve, your spirit, your LIFE has led you to this moment, and we feel happy and giddy as we watch you take action.
Your first obstacle comes up, and whereas before it would be a stumbling block, maybe even something that would have prevented your goal, you break through it simply because you have already made that decision- there’s nothing to think about anymore- you are in the PROCESS, and it doesn’t end here- the PROCESS ends at the finish line, at the goal, at the end- when you WIN.
It doesn’t actually matter when that is, how far in the future, or even if it’s beyond your lifetime- you have set the actions in motion, and the audience watches, now knowing how the movie ends, but wanting to watch it happen.
And then you stop.
You stop for a second.
Just to reflect on what has happened.
Not just in this montage, but from the beginning- you watch that horrible thing that happened so long ago, and realize that it HAD to happen for you to come to this point in your life. You can actually look at that horrible time in your life, and from this perspective be GRATEFUL for it, because of how it has all turned out.
Without that horrible experience, which you cursed at the time, you wouldn’t be able to do what you are doing now. You see it again, from this perspective, and its pain has transformed. It’s not that the memory doesn’t hurt; it still does, but you relish in it. From this perspective, it gives you a new appreciation for the rest of your life- you see it all as a part of what has brought you to now.
And that’s when it happens.
In the middle of this montage.
Your actions, and reflections. Your past and present.
You see your life from the FUTURE, and realize that it has ALWAYS been about building you towards the next thing you want to do. The next thing you want to BECOME.
Your entire life: the childhood traumas, the teen angst, the adult insecurities, the middle-age doubts, the senior fears have all conspired together to help you CREATE WHO YOU ARE- you ARE these experiences, and you ARE the choices, and you ARE the PROCESS itself.
From this vantage point, the audience watching your growth cheers, seeing themselves in the process, seeing themselves as the challenges, seeing themselves AS the process.
We ARE the process, and we can cheer about every part of it. We stand up, together, cheering, applauding your progress, your life- because it is our own.
WE Cheer as we take a long view- one that spans forever, seeing the entire movie that has no beginning and no ending, but a never ending PROCESS of one decision to the next, creating a weaving pattern of CHANGE that brings about the beautiful nature of the Universe, created by us-
BEGUN WITH YOUR DECISION, BEGUN WITH YOUR NOW.
*****************
As this book opens, we see you reading it. The surrounding areas are a picture of your life right now. This is the beginning of our movie, and you’re the star- we know this because we’ve started with you, sitting there, reading this.
The thing is, we flash back to that time you wanted to do something, that thing you wanted to do, we see scenes of your life where you have failed over and over, and we see how those times, and what you learned during them have brought you to your current life- sitting there reading this,
But now we see you take a deep breath.
You let it out slowly- with resolve, you look at the camera and say:
Today is going to be different!
That thing you wanted to do today, that thing that you were going to put off- that reason that you bought this book, in the small hopes that it would get you off your ass to go TRY- that reason is now the thing you ARE going to do. You have no doubt about it-
The audience swells in a little cheer as we see you take another deep breath, look to camera and say- YES- I WILL!!
The couple in the front row hold each other a little tighter, because your resolve has spread to them- he’;s going to be a better husband, she is going to be a better wife. Your resolve to finally go do that thing you really, really want to try has given them courage to be better for each other.
The old man in the middle seat smiles wide, his wrinkles and age spots coming together in a dance like the stars on the night sky, remembering a time when he went for it- that girl, that job, that small showing of courage and telling life that he would not be denied. His feeling reminds him of what it is like to be alive, and he too resolves that he is not dead- dammit, if he can watch a movie, and he can breath, then dammit- he can still go do it!
You smile at your audience, knowing that you have done this for them, and you immediately get started on your plan. You know that every montage needs a list of actions, and most have a paper plan- step 1- is always to begin, even if the hero doesn’t know what to do.
so you start. My god, the makeup people have done a fantastic job because you look amazing. The lighting people have this glow that is coming from you, the music swells, and the camera pans in to watch you working hard towards your goal. We all know that you will make it if you keep it up.
You begin with excitement and energy; you feel like you are a new person, and you are- you are now one of those people who does the thing- not anymore being someone who SAYS they’re “going to” or a non-whatever- you are an actual member of that elite group- you call yourself by one of those titles even before you have actually finished because you know you will accomplish it, you just haven’t caught up to that moment in time yet.
We are watching your montage- you have never been so attractive because your light shines from the inside, your resolve, your spirit, your LIFE has led you to this moment, and we feel happy and giddy as we watch you take action.
Your first obstacle comes up, and whereas before it would be a stumbling block, maybe even something that would have prevented your goal, you break through it simply because you have already made that decision- there’s nothing to think about anymore- you are in the PROCESS, and it doesn’t end here- the PROCESS ends at the finish line, at the goal, at the end- when you WIN.
It doesn’t actually matter when that is, how far in the future, or even if it’s beyond your lifetime- you have set the actions in motion, and the audience watches, now knowing how the movie ends, but wanting to watch it happen.
And then you stop.
You stop for a second.
Just to reflect on what has happened.
Not just in this montage, but from the beginning- you watch that horrible thing that happened so long ago, and realize that it HAD to happen for you to come to this point in your life. You can actually look at that horrible time in your life, and from this perspective be GRATEFUL for it, because of how it has all turned out.
Without that horrible experience, which you cursed at the time, you wouldn’t be able to do what you are doing now. You see it again, from this perspective, and its pain has transformed. It’s not that the memory doesn’t hurt; it still does, but you relish in it. From this perspective, it gives you a new appreciation for the rest of your life- you see it all as a part of what has brought you to now.
And that’s when it happens.
In the middle of this montage.
Your actions, and reflections. Your past and present.
You see your life from the FUTURE, and realize that it has ALWAYS been about building you towards the next thing you want to do. The next thing you want to BECOME.
Your entire life: the childhood traumas, the teen angst, the adult insecurities, the middle-age doubts, the senior fears have all conspired together to help you CREATE WHO YOU ARE- you ARE these experiences, and you ARE the choices, and you ARE the PROCESS itself.
From this vantage point, the audience watching your growth cheers, seeing themselves in the process, seeing themselves as the challenges, seeing themselves AS the process.
We ARE the process, and we can cheer about every part of it. We stand up, together, cheering, applauding your progress, your life- because it is our own.
WE Cheer as we take a long view- one that spans forever, seeing the entire movie that has no beginning and no ending, but a never ending PROCESS of one decision to the next, creating a weaving pattern of CHANGE that brings about the beautiful nature of the Universe, created by us-
BEGUN WITH YOUR DECISION, BEGUN WITH YOUR NOW.
Thursday, October 04, 2012
"In The Heights" the MUSICAL!
I absolutely LOVE the musical "In The Heights" by Lin-Manuel Miranda, and I got to see it before it went to Broadway.
When I saw the show, I felt COMPELLED to play the part of "Usnavi", who reminded me of myself a lot.
The character raps, sings a little, and doesn't dance too well- JUST LIKE ME! So, when I got the opportunity to audition for it, I jumped all in, and got to do the show. I was ecstatic, and after it was all done, I had this promo video made:
Lin-Manuel Miranda's music just moved my soul, and made me reminisce about my family here in New York. I cried my eyes out as I watched "Paciencia y Fe", because it so reminded me of my family's story and struggle to come to America. I REALLY connected with this broadway musical, and a few of my friends really understood. It is a show about US, in the same way that "Fiddler On The Roof" is about the Jews.
And I felt like the show was about ME.
This show is PERSONAL to me, and I hope to be able to write something as powerful for other people.
I got to experience some great emotions, and bring those to the audiences who came, and many folks told me it was the bet show they had seen at that theater. We got to perform for a few of the other people who have done it before (I wish Lin-Manuel could have seen us!) and they thought we were great.too.
That MEANS something to me.
As we continue in the crazy profession, I finally got to cross a life-goal off my list- to perform that show with my Mom in the audience. Thank you to everyone who was a part of making that happen.
When I saw the show, I felt COMPELLED to play the part of "Usnavi", who reminded me of myself a lot.
The character raps, sings a little, and doesn't dance too well- JUST LIKE ME! So, when I got the opportunity to audition for it, I jumped all in, and got to do the show. I was ecstatic, and after it was all done, I had this promo video made:
Lin-Manuel Miranda's music just moved my soul, and made me reminisce about my family here in New York. I cried my eyes out as I watched "Paciencia y Fe", because it so reminded me of my family's story and struggle to come to America. I REALLY connected with this broadway musical, and a few of my friends really understood. It is a show about US, in the same way that "Fiddler On The Roof" is about the Jews.
And I felt like the show was about ME.
This show is PERSONAL to me, and I hope to be able to write something as powerful for other people.
I got to experience some great emotions, and bring those to the audiences who came, and many folks told me it was the bet show they had seen at that theater. We got to perform for a few of the other people who have done it before (I wish Lin-Manuel could have seen us!) and they thought we were great.too.
That MEANS something to me.
As we continue in the crazy profession, I finally got to cross a life-goal off my list- to perform that show with my Mom in the audience. Thank you to everyone who was a part of making that happen.
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Bones Rodriguez in IN THE HEIGHTS!
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Friday, July 27, 2012
The Nutella Breakfast IDIOTS
Last night I was watching The Daily Show, and Lewis Black was on talking about people lying in the campaign- yes, that sucks.
But something else caught my attention while he was talking about an advertisement that Nutella was running, that showed Nutella to be a great breakfast food.
Lewis Black said something like "You'd have to be an IDIOT to believe that spreading creamy chocolate onto a piece of bread is a good breakfast for your kids!"
It was funny, and the audience laughed.
But hold on- it's not that Nutella is a good breakfast- OF COURSE, but why would people have to be IDIOTS to believe it? Actually, how many people had to OUTRIGHT LIE to get that message out there?
Yes, we know that Nutella is going to lie so they can make their money, right?
But how many PEOPLE make up Nutella? How many people had to say "Well, I'm not going to stop this ad even though it is a BLATANT lie, and someone would have to be an IDIOT to believe it- let's run it."
And then the poster company had to say "Well, it's not my job to stop a BLATANT LIE, just because this will POISON children a little bit". Then the guy who puts up the posters had to say the same thing, etc.
There had to be a whole STRING of people who had to agree to tell this BLATANT lie, that parents would have to be IDIOTS to believe, right?
IS THAT WHAT WE WANT?
Do we want a world where a blatant lie is passed around, poisoning kids before they even get a chance to start the day? What kind of a world are we creating where we allow poisons to advertised as breakfast where people have to be IDIOTS to believe the message that hundreds of people have verified?
And where does this leave COCO PUFFS as breakfast?
IS THAT WHAT WE WANT????????
But something else caught my attention while he was talking about an advertisement that Nutella was running, that showed Nutella to be a great breakfast food.
Lewis Black said something like "You'd have to be an IDIOT to believe that spreading creamy chocolate onto a piece of bread is a good breakfast for your kids!"
It was funny, and the audience laughed.
But hold on- it's not that Nutella is a good breakfast- OF COURSE, but why would people have to be IDIOTS to believe it? Actually, how many people had to OUTRIGHT LIE to get that message out there?
Yes, we know that Nutella is going to lie so they can make their money, right?
But how many PEOPLE make up Nutella? How many people had to say "Well, I'm not going to stop this ad even though it is a BLATANT lie, and someone would have to be an IDIOT to believe it- let's run it."
And then the poster company had to say "Well, it's not my job to stop a BLATANT LIE, just because this will POISON children a little bit". Then the guy who puts up the posters had to say the same thing, etc.
There had to be a whole STRING of people who had to agree to tell this BLATANT lie, that parents would have to be IDIOTS to believe, right?
IS THAT WHAT WE WANT?
Do we want a world where a blatant lie is passed around, poisoning kids before they even get a chance to start the day? What kind of a world are we creating where we allow poisons to advertised as breakfast where people have to be IDIOTS to believe the message that hundreds of people have verified?
And where does this leave COCO PUFFS as breakfast?
IS THAT WHAT WE WANT????????
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
DAMN, I hit 40...?
Ok, so I just turned 40 years old, and I could be doing better.
I don't know if everyone feels this way, but there are definitely certain things where I feel like I haven't grown at all, and I have been pretty disappointed in myself in those areas.
Those areas would be financially, career-wise, accomplishment-wise, making up English words-wise.
But y'know what?
I can't believe I actually have a muscular body! I just put up a new picture on facebook, and people have been pretty complimentary. I think the people who credit my Genes are funny. I have been trying to gain some muscle for more than 20 years, pretty steadily and stubbornly.
Anyway, so I wrote this book, and people are buying it up- http://www.HalfAssedHealth.com
One of my friends talks about how I've always been skinny, and I agree with her- but that has NOTHING to do with the growth. Had I not been working out, I'd probably just still be skinny, y'know? Or that kind of skinny-fat thing.
Anyway, if you're working hard at the gym, but not getting results, don't give up- the turtle gets the the finish line, even if not first.
Now if I could just get that attitude about those other parts of my life...
I don't know if everyone feels this way, but there are definitely certain things where I feel like I haven't grown at all, and I have been pretty disappointed in myself in those areas.
Those areas would be financially, career-wise, accomplishment-wise, making up English words-wise.
But y'know what?
I can't believe I actually have a muscular body! I just put up a new picture on facebook, and people have been pretty complimentary. I think the people who credit my Genes are funny. I have been trying to gain some muscle for more than 20 years, pretty steadily and stubbornly.
Anyway, so I wrote this book, and people are buying it up- http://www.HalfAssedHealth.com
One of my friends talks about how I've always been skinny, and I agree with her- but that has NOTHING to do with the growth. Had I not been working out, I'd probably just still be skinny, y'know? Or that kind of skinny-fat thing.
Anyway, if you're working hard at the gym, but not getting results, don't give up- the turtle gets the the finish line, even if not first.
Now if I could just get that attitude about those other parts of my life...
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