The Nutella Breakfast IDIOTS

Last night I was watching The Daily Show, and Lewis Black was on talking about people lying in the campaign- yes, that sucks.
But something else caught my attention while he was talking about an advertisement that Nutella was running, that showed Nutella to be a great breakfast food.
Lewis Black said something like "You'd have to be an IDIOT to believe that spreading creamy chocolate onto a piece of bread is a good breakfast for your kids!"
It was funny, and the audience laughed.

But hold on- it's not that Nutella is a good breakfast- OF COURSE, but why would people have to be IDIOTS to believe it? Actually, how many people had to OUTRIGHT LIE to get that message out there?

Yes, we know that Nutella is going to lie so they can make their money, right?
But how many PEOPLE make up Nutella? How many people had to say "Well, I'm not going to stop this ad even though it is a BLATANT lie, and someone would have to be an IDIOT to believe it- let's run it."
And then the poster company had to say "Well, it's not my job to stop a BLATANT LIE, just because this will POISON children a little bit". Then the guy who puts up the posters had to say the same thing, etc.

There had to be a whole STRING of people who had to agree to tell this BLATANT lie, that parents would have to be IDIOTS to believe, right?

IS THAT WHAT WE WANT?

Do we want a world where a blatant lie is passed around, poisoning kids before they even get a chance to start the day? What kind of a world are we creating where we allow poisons to advertised as breakfast where people have to be IDIOTS to believe the message that hundreds of people have verified?

And where does this leave COCO PUFFS as breakfast?

IS THAT WHAT WE WANT????????

DAMN, I hit 40...?

Ok, so I just turned 40 years old, and I could be doing better.

I don't know if everyone feels this way, but there are definitely certain things where I feel like I haven't grown at all, and I have been pretty disappointed in myself in those areas.

Those areas would be financially, career-wise, accomplishment-wise, making up English words-wise.

But y'know what?

I can't believe I actually have a muscular body! I just put up a new picture on facebook, and people have been pretty complimentary. I think the people who credit my Genes are funny. I have been trying to gain some muscle for more than 20 years, pretty steadily and stubbornly.

Anyway, so I wrote this book, and people are buying it up- http://www.HalfAssedHealth.com

One of my friends talks about how I've always been skinny, and I agree with her- but that has NOTHING to do with the growth. Had I not been working out, I'd probably just still be skinny, y'know? Or that kind of skinny-fat thing.

Anyway, if you're working hard at the gym, but not getting results, don't give up- the turtle gets the the finish line, even if not first.

Now if I could just get that attitude about those other parts of my life...

TheThankYouChallenge.com

So, I made a new site, called TheThankYouChallenge, and it's about spreading gratitude and appreciation through sending a card through the mail. I of course use http://www.SendOutCards.com/Bones, but even if you do it by hand, it's a great way to let someone know how important they are to you.

http://www.TheThankYouChallenge.com  Coach Code: Bones


http://www.TheThankYouChallenge.com Coach Code: Bones

Hey Jamba Juice- Listen Up!

I walked into Jamba Juice today because I had walked a long way without eating, and wanted to have a large drink. When I walked in, I saw that for the Holidays, they were doing a special- Free Jamba Juice for a $25 gift card. Sounds good, right? I'm a customer, I really like going there, and I would probably use the gift card myself, and as a result, buy more Jamba juice.

Which is WHY you offer gift cards- so people will give you money NOW, for something they will probably use more often because they have it.

 The woman in front of me ordered a POWER, their largest size, and a gift card. However, the special was only for the 16oz. size, like it said on the poster. She begrudgingly paid the extra $1.16 for the power size, took her gift card with the "buyers remorse face" you've seen before, and walked over to wait for her "free" drink... which as far as she's concerned cost her $26.16

But Bones is different.

Bones said "Hi, I WAS going to get a gift card, but I wanted a POWER size drink, and since I can't get that for free by spending the extra $25, I'm not going to buy the gift card. Please tell corporate that limiting the special to the 16 oz. size is stupid marketing."

 The girl at the counter looked at me with frustration.
"I guess aside from her, I am not the only person to say that to you today. You should definitely tell corporate they should fire the idiot who made that policy."
She said "Are you serious? You're not going to get the Gift card because of the DOLLAR?"
"That's right. I'd rather buy what I want, and maybe spend the other $25 somewhere else."

That's when she said "If I give you a POWER size, will you get the gift card?"
"Happily" I said.
And she did.

Now it seems like this story is about me "winning" something, but it's not-

The story is about a minimum-wage register clerk who took it upon herself to make the customer happy and took responsibility for HER customer's experience at the store she worked at. She didn't earn any extra money for doing that, and frankly, she'd probably get in trouble for it-

BUT I BOUGHT $25 MORE THAN I WAS GOING TO because of her initiative.

Tell the suit at corporate that I have his replacement.

My friend Jules Price made a fun video for Holiday cards, and I thought I'd show you her brilliant work:

Didn't she do such a great job?

CLICK HERE TO SEND A FREE CARD!

What Kindle should be doing...

As an author, I recently uploaded a bunch of my books to KINDLE, and told people they were available.

A bunch of people bought them, but many told me they didn't have a kindle, so they couldn't get them.
So, the first thing Amazon should be doing is telling people that they do not need a kindle to read the books more effectively than they are.

In fact, I am a "kindle Author", and I don't have a kindle either why would I when I can get the kindle apps on my PC and my smartphone?

But here's what Amazon should be doing with Kindle books-

LET PEOPLE SELL THEIRS.

That's right- let people sell them to other people for 1/2 of what they paid for them. All of a sudden, there is a market for USED Kindle books, and people can pass them around, still generating money for them, and yet paying less than just getting them from Amazon. After a few passes, the book could expire.

Let's say I buy "Captain Kirk's Guide To Women" for $11, someone else can buy it for $5.50, the next for $2.75, the next for $1.35, etc. The same people still get paid again- the Author, Amazon, the Publisher, etc, but the previous purchaser gets a piece too.

This is a good idea.

And I believe it will save the book world.

If you like this idea, share this post and get it to someone at Amazon please.

Osama's Dead- LET'S PARTY!?!?!?!

So last night, the big news came out that Osama Bin Laden was killed by special forces. Strange news, as it's been 10 years. There were people celebrating as if something great happened, and I have a mix of emotions about it. Of course I'm glad he's gone, but I just feel weird celebrating someone being killed. Facebook was where I went immediately, and made a ton of jokes along with a lot of other people.
Out in front of the white house, and here at Ground Zero, people were congregating, chanting "USA! USA!", and I even saw a beach ball or two. That's what inspired this:

I just had to!