George and Runner the painting, talking horse

Once upon a time, there was a man named George who wanted to race horses, win a lot of trophies, and make a lot of money.

George went out and found the world's fastest horse, Runner. George watched him win a few races, made a big investment, and bought him so he could win races.

George was very excited about his champion racing horse, and really looked forward to watching him cross the finish line. George bought a stable right by the racetrack, and brushed his horse everyday as he thought about the wonderful future that was ahead for the two of them.

Runner was really excited too, because Runner loved to race. He trained all the time, ate well, and even read books on racing (he was a very smart horse). Runner dreamed of racing, and thought everything else was a waste of time.

George wanted Runner to look good when he was racing, so instead of taking him to the races, he thought he'd go get Runner's hooves cleaned. Runner wanted to be running, but he figured he should do what George said- besides, his hooves really did look better.

The next day, there was a big race, but George wanted Runner to learn to paint a fence with his tail. It might not make any sense to you, but George thought that more people would come to see Runner run races if he could also paint a fence. For a week, Runner was in painting school; at the end, he had a white fence.

"What a great fence!" George said.

Runner (a VERY smart horse) spoke to George, and said "I would love to run a race tomorrow, do you think I could do that now that I am done painting?" George was surprised his horse was so smart he could talk, and he got another idea.

George got a truck and put Runner on display with a big sign that said "See Runner, the talking horse at the races this weekend!".

Well, Runner really didn't like to drive around in the truck all week because he wanted to be racing, but he figured he'd better do what George said because otherwise he was never going to get to race anymore. Besides, he knew that the sign said he'd get to race on the weekend!

Runner was super-excited about getting the chance to run again. He really wanted to win races for George, get trophies for George, and make a lot of money for George.

When Friday night came, George came to the stable with a very disappointed look. "Runner," he said "I bought you so you could win races. So far, it's been two weeks, I've spent all this money, and you haven't won anything! I'm afraid I'm going to have to turn you into glue just so I don't have to keep feeding you."

Runner said "George, please just let me out to race tomorrow, and you'll see! All this time I've been wanting to race, but you wanted me to paint a fence, and drive a truck- just let me race in all the races, and you'll get all the trophies and all the money you can handle!"

"Sorry Runner," George said "It's too late- I already made the deal."

And that's the story of Runner and George, where the world's fastest horse was turned into the world's cheapest glue.

As for George, he never got to win any trophies, he lost all his money, and he eventually jumped off a bridge. But just before he jumped he said to himself "This is all Runner's fault- he should have won races for me."

George and Runner the painting, talking horse

Once upon a time, there was a man named George who wanted to race horses, win a lot of trophies, and make a lot of money.

George went out and found the world's fastest horse, Runner. George watched him win a few races, made a big investment, and bought him so he could win races.

George was very excited about his champion racing horse, and really looked forward to watching him cross the finish line. George bought a stable right by the racetrack, and brushed his horse everyday as he thought about the wonderful future that was ahead for the two of them.

Runner was really excited too, because Runner loved to race. He trained all the time, ate well, and even read books on racing (he was a very smart horse). Runner dreamed of racing, and thought everything else was a waste of time.

George wanted Runner to look good when he was racing, so instead of taking him to the races, he thought he'd go get Runner's hooves cleaned. Runner wanted to be running, but he figured he should do what George said- besides, his hooves really did look better.

The next day, there was a big race, but George wanted Runner to learn to paint a fence with his tail. It might not make any sense to you, but George thought that more people would come to see Runner run races if he could also paint a fence. For a week, Runner was in painting school; at the end, he had a white fence.

"What a great fence!" George said.

Runner (a VERY smart horse) spoke to George, and said "I would love to run a race tomorrow, do you think I could do that now that I am done painting?" George was surprised his horse was so smart he could talk, and he got another idea.

George got a truck and put Runner on display with a big sign that said "See Runner, the talking horse at the races this weekend!".

Well, Runner really didn't like to drive around in the truck all week because he wanted to be racing, but he figured he'd better do what George said because otherwise he was never going to get to race anymore. Besides, he knew that the sign said he'd get to race on the weekend!

Runner was super-excited about getting the chance to run again. He really wanted to win races for George, get trophies for George, and make a lot of money for George.

When Friday night came, George came to the stable with a very disappointed look. "Runner," he said "I bought you so you could win races. So far, it's been two weeks, I've spent all this money, and you haven't won anything! I'm afraid I'm going to have to turn you into glue just so I don't have to keep feeding you."

Runner said "George, please just let me out to race tomorrow, and you'll see! All this time I've been wanting to race, but you wanted me to paint a fence, and drive a truck- just let me race in all the races, and you'll get all the trophies and all the money you can handle!"

"Sorry Runner," George said "It's too late- I already made the deal."

And that's the story of Runner and George, where the world's fastest horse was turned into the world's cheapest glue.

As for George, he never got to win any trophies, he lost all his money, and he eventually jumped off a bridge. But just before he jumped he said to himself "This is all Runner's fault- he should have won races for me."

Don't forget to LEGALIZE IT!

So, I've been hired to be the leader of the "Legalize Cachaca" movement, and I've set up a bunch of sites around the web. Here's a pic from our flickr:



You can see more of what we're up to at any of these sites:
http://www.CRNVL.org
http://www.YouTube.com/LegalizeCachaca

http://www.Flickr.com/legalizecachaca
http://www.Twitter.com/legalizecachaca
http://www.LegalizeCachaca.com

Don't forget to LEGALIZE IT!

So, I've been hired to be the leader of the "Legalize Cachaca" movement, and I've set up a bunch of sites around the web. Here's a pic from our flickr:



You can see more of what we're up to at any of these sites:
http://www.CRNVL.org
http://www.YouTube.com/LegalizeCachaca

http://www.Flickr.com/legalizecachaca
http://www.Twitter.com/legalizecachaca
http://www.LegalizeCachaca.com

In case you don't believe me...

In case you don't believe all of the advice in Captain Kirk's Guide To Women, you can hear it straight from Bill:

I had no idea....

I saw this video, and had no idea we could see this far:

I had no idea....

I saw this video, and had no idea we could see this far: