My Beautiful Wife...

Laura got some new headshots, and I just wanted everyone to see what a beautiful cutey she is!

My Beautiful Wife...

Laura got some new headshots, and I just wanted everyone to see what a beautiful cutey she is!

The BEST Scam Ever!!

Ok- so you don't care WHAT you do, what the hell kind of opportunity, business, or scam that you can get into, you just wanna get some cash, be successful, and rock the world, right?

I don't blame you.

Well I have a BIG secret for you- a BIG SECRET that the government, society, and your friends don't want you to know- a secret SO POWERFUL, that it can make you Rich, Beautiful, and best of all- RIGHT all the time!

Listen carefully to part one:

1- You can get RICH by doing PRACTICALLY NOTHING!!

All you have to do is investigate any or all of the opportunities you see, spend ALL of your money on CD's, DVD's, Beer, and hookers- then you sit back and watch the cash roll in! DO NOT attempt to READ anything or LEARN anything, just BUY IT. DO NOT follow any directions, and for GOD'S SAKE watch ALL of the TV you can- but don't TRY too hard!

That's right- just by being lazy and doing NOTHING you can get rich! The government doesn't want you to know these CAREFULLY GUARDED SECRETS, but I'm telling you-

You can do NOTHING- just be sure to BLAME everyone else for your "misfortune".

This BLAME is the key! You can GUILT people into giving you money!!



That's how simple it is!!! Just DO NOTHING to make money, and then GUILT someone who IS making money and being "productive" into giving you some!

IT'S SO SIMPLE!!!

These tactics were long-guarded secrets, but humans forgot about them. We now are living in an age that makes this possible again!

This time-tested secret works not only with money, but with OTHER parts of your life too:

2- You can become BEAUTIFUL and FIT by doing PRACTICALLY NOTHING!!

DO NOT exercise, and DO NOT eat well. In fact, if you sit in front of the television, and ONLY EAT what is advertised and is in a box, you'll do very well with this ancient secret.

Continue to SHOVEL food into your mouth, and be sure not to burn any calories doing it- then when you get FAT and SICK, you can blame the government, food companies, your parents, and SOCIETY for your "health issues"!

By using this BLAMING technique, you'll be able to GUILT them all into paying your medical bills, insurance costs (they rise y'know), and you'll get them to visit YOU because of your new-found "conditions".

Not to mention that you can GUILT them into liking you!

If you become unattractive to the opposite sex, you can call them shallow and one-dimensional. You can say things like "They just want us to be perfect". You can say that they have NO DEPTH of LOVE for your "true" self, and only your body.

And if you find someone who DOES like your new look and shape, you can guilt them for having a "sick-o fetish" for fatties- DON'T PUT UP WITH IT!!

Guilt and Shame- they work EVERYTIME!!

3- You can be RIGHT about EVERYTHING- ALL THE TIME- by doing PRACTICALLY NOTHING!!

This one I admit takes a little genuine idea-creating on your side, but if you practice, it's something you can do anywhere, anytime, and it NEVER FAILS:

During any conversation where you think someone is saying something that you disagree with (or even if they don't say it, but they LOOK like someone who would), just say these words:

"THAT'S WHAT GOD SAYS; IT'S IN THE BIBLE"

If they begin to talk, or ask any STUPID QUESTIONS that might contradict you, CUT THEM OFF and say again:

"THAT'S WHAT GOD SAYS; IT'S IN THE BIBLE"

This is a fool-proof way to ALWAYS BE RIGHT, and NEVER have to listen to anyone else again!

You use the same BLAME and GUILT techniques I've been describing for you- you BLAME GOD by saying that it's what "HE" (or "SHE" if you're having THAT argument) says, and then GUILT them by being shocked that they don't know that already- AS THEY SHOULD.

This works for Jews, Muslims, and Christians the best, but if you're of a DIFFERENT faith that is 100% correct all the time too, you can make up your OWN bible, or just say "HE (or SHE) TOLD ME IN PRAYER"- that works too.

So remember- BLAME and GUILT are ALWAYS available to you, and the more your practice the more you will be

RICH, BEAUTIFUL AND RIGHT ALL THE TIME!!

CONGRATS!!

What IS Money?

Man Alive! There was a time when I just spent money as fast as I had it.

Why?

I think it had something to do with not understanding what money was.

I used to think that it was created to be spent, and it didn't matter what it was spent on, but as long as I didn't have it- it was ok.

Maybe it had something to do with always seeing people around me doing that, or because I had some issues about my skin color! Maybe it was just that I didn't have anyone to tell me what money really is-

It is ENERGY.

The energy of CHOICE.

When you have more money, you have more choices-
everyone knows that, but what you maybe don't know is that the less money you have, the less choices you have.

When you've got it, you can choose your doctors, your education, your friends. When you don't, you are going to the worst places, the worst people, and the worst friends. that's right- I said it.

Poor people make WORSE friends because they'll sell you out for enough money! Hell, I'd trade you in right now! - just kidding.... (well, wait- how much?) but you know what I mean.

Poor people do NOT go to the best doctors, and they don't get to go to the best schools. If you start to think of money as energy, and choice energy, then maybe those new sneakers won't be so cool.

Or maybe buying that STUPID ASS ringtone won't be so alluring.

Now, don't get me wrong- if you want these things, then great, but I just want you to realize that you are taking away from some of your other choices, or rather that if you want that, and the same choice, then you should make more money.

There is enough money in the world for everyone, just as there are enough choices for everyone, but some of us squander it. I used to do that all the time, and I can't say that this energy idea came as a flash. It came slowly, as I realized my friends spent money on things that I slowly lost interest in.

Wow- Drugs are a waste of time! I mean, they can be fun, I guess, but they're just not something that you should INVEST IN, y'know?

So, think about that- when you are investing TIME and ENERGY (both are money), make SURE you know where you want it to go.

I'm going on a CRUISE!!

YEEHAW!!

I'm going on a 5-day cruise to HAITI and to JAMAICA!!!

I won the cruise through my new business
(I made $640 in one week), and it was one of the rewards.

But, here's the bad part:

Laura can't leave her new JOB, so I am going without her!

Weird, but I'll be hanging out with some of my new business friends,
so I figure we'll just talk shop, go swimming, and write it all off!!!

I'm going on a CRUISE!!

YEEHAW!!

I'm going on a 5-day cruise to HAITI and to JAMAICA!!!

I won the cruise through my new business
(I made $640 in one week), and it was one of the rewards.

But, here's the bad part:

Laura can't leave her new JOB, so I am going without her!

Weird, but I'll be hanging out with some of my new business friends,
so I figure we'll just talk shop, go swimming, and write it all off!!!

QuittersSuck.com

There's a plague in the world.

In the world of HALO, a game on the XBOX 360, the main
character can fight and overcome amazing odds- including
destroying a planet full of Zombie-like mutants.

However, this plague is invincible.

It's the plague of QUITTING.

Whenever I play HALO online with people from all over the world,
what ruins the game is the inevitable QUITTING of some of the players.

What can begin as a challenging 4-on-4 deathmatch can quickly deteriorate
into a boring 2-on-4 stompfest.

Boring for the 2, and REALLY boring for the 4.

And it's because of PANSY-ASS, NO GUTS-HAVING, QUITTERS.

You can't have a good game when people quit before it's over.
The winners don't feel like winners, and the losers feel cheated.

IF YOU QUIT DURING A GAME, YOU SUCK.

And of course, this is not just about HALO, but about anything-
including the game of life- so many people quit before the game is over;
It's no wonder that people have trouble being happy.

You either WIN or you LEARN, but when you quit, you LOSE.