I Love My Cousin

Is there a reason I love my cousin?

I went ice skating the other day in Bryant Park here in New York City. It was a friends’ birthday, and she thought it might be fun to go ice skating, since it was free-

-except for the skate rental, hot chocolate, and lock for the lockers.

But that’s cool- I am proud to live in a socialist city like that, where parts are free, and parts are for pay- it makes a profit every year- and it’s FREE!

Well, as we saw the VERY long line to get in, I walked around the rink just to see if we could find our friend skating around.

That’s when I saw them.

There were two little guys, about 7 or 8 skating together, and they kinda looked like each other, so I assume they were brothers. The bigger one was helping the smaller one keep his balance, but the bigger one was pretty wobbly too. You could tell he was just trying to “be there” for the little guy as he held the railing along the outside.

As they gripped the handrails, and carefully put one foot in front of the other, I remarked “Wow, it must be great to have a big brother to help you out like that, huh?”

Well, the bigger kid looked at me as if I had said the silliest thing in the world:

“He’s my cousin.”

And that’s all he said.

He said it like “Duh, I love my cousin, and he needs help, so this is what I’m doing- THIS IS WHAT COUSINS DO…”

Well, I suddenly had the biggest lump in my throat as they just continued on with this ice skating thing, totally ignoring the (dashing) older man with the ridiculous observation.

I was reminded of my own cousin Mark.

I love my cousin Mark.

He’s my only first cousin; he’s taller, older, better-and-younger looking, he’s a lawyer, and taught me to like Star Trek and Prince. He was who I got to play with when we had family dinners,  and now that we’re older we still sit next to each other and talk and laugh about… Star Trek, and Prince.

…and maybe the hottest girl on whatever show.

He recently got married, and I got to be his best man. I got to do a best man speech for him, and everyone knows I love my cousin Mark.

You probably have a cousin who is instantly your friend. Sure, you might disagree on things (like him not liking J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek), but just because you are family, you’re friends.

And it’s not like your Toy-and-Parental-Attention-Stealing siblings.

Why do I Love My Cousin? I’ve never heard of “Cousin Rivalry” have you?

I remember a time when Mark and I both slept over at our grandmas house, and we were small enough to be in the same bed. I wanted to sleep under the covers, but he was terrified that there would be no air and I would suffocate on his watch, so after a long debate (I love my cousin- he’s a lawyer now) we settled on my sleeping under the covers that were knit with holes in them.

When I was really sick with Stevens Johnson Syndrome, he came to see me which could not have been very easy. I needed someone to play with while I was recovering, and he took a shot so he could be around me (And this was in his early teens- there must have been more exciting things to do than be around your sick cousin… BUT THAT’S WHAT COUSINS DO).

I love my cousin, so it’s easy for me to do stuff for him and with him too.  I’m sure there’s a cousin that you feel the same way about. It’s fun to talk about the same old things, new things, and the new things about the old things. Now our conversations are about being married, and our parents lives changing. Maybe we’ll be talking about being parents ourselves and having our kids play together. Who knows?

Your cousin might be older, younger, close, or far, but you know that at times like the Holidays, birthdays, weddings, funerals, or any other special occasions, you remember your cousins. There’s something about the “kids of your parent’s brothers and sisters” that just brings them close enough without the headaches.

Sure, they’re crazy, and they come from that other part of town. Maybe they’re constantly going into business and want you to work with them, or buy their thing, or vote for their crazy candidate. But you know when the time comes, they’ll say “I love my cousin”, and they’ll claim you as their own.

You can trust your cousin.

There might even be a time when you feel like you’re on shaky footing, and the ice may be thin and slippery, but if you’re lucky to have a cousin like mine, you know that they won’t let you slip and fall through.

And if you’re REALLY lucky, they know that about you too.

Share this with someone if you know what I mean by “I love My Cousin“

How Do You Find an Agent... and Keep One!

Hey Future Stars!

So, one of my personal not-really-a-joke jokes is "One of these days I'm going to start taking my career seriously, then look out!" I say that because I often do these big great gigs, and then I stop for a while... and then I get back into the swing of things.

Well, this week I went to see my friend Lisa Gold do her great seminar for actors: "How to Get and Keep an Agent" See, every once in a while, I get worried about my agent relationship, so I went for the "Keep an Agent" part.  But a lot of my friends often ask me:

"How Do You Find An Agent, Bones?"

I often get into a conversation where I reminisce about the days when I freelanced for a while with several different agencies, until I eventually had to sign with my favorite. My advice to How Do You Find An Agent is really anecdotal, but when pressed, I can do a seminar on it too!

But the way that Lisa Gold puts her work together, you can tell that she really enjoys helping actors get ahead in their careers.

 Well, after I went to her seminar this week, I'm SUPER-RECOMMENDING her work. I told some people to go to the live seminar, but now I see that Lisa has them available for download.

Even though I am a professional working actor and have a career going, Lisa has changed my approach to many of the ways I'm tackling not only getting representation, but so much more about the biz that I didn't even know I needed to know!

The seminar download is just a few bucks, and since I make money online instead of waiting tables I just decided to use some of that cash to pay for my actor training. That made sense to me. So, the next time someone asks me "How Do You Find An Agent", I'm sending them to Lisa!

I give Lisa Gold, Act Outside the Box, and How to Get and Keep an Agent my HIGHEST recommendation.  Here's a LINK  to find out more about it.

 I hope you get it, love it, and use it like I did.

 Let Your Light So Shine Before Men,

Bones

Wait- I missed the Victoria's Secret Special?

OMG.

 I missed it?

 I MISSED IT?!?!?! 

I got a text from my cousin saying that his wife was "SURE those boobs were fake"
 and I was like "Wha....? Who...?"

 And he said "You're NOT watching the VICTORIA'S SECRET special?"

 I jumped from my seat, and turned on the TV: Just in time to see this:

She was just leaving the stage, and I didn't even know The Victoria's Secret Special was on!

I was on a Webinar learning how to make money online, and it was so good, I totally lost track of time! The Victoria's Secret Special was the last thing on my mind because I was learning how to make money to BUY all of the stuff! 

 So, my wife was like "Ohhhh, you missed it? Maybe it'll be on Demand."

 I obviously am The Luckiest Guy to have found my wife.

 So, instead, I just went to the Internet and found this:



Problem Solved :-)

 Now, I'll say this- These are some skinny women.

 I mean, I'm all into fitness, and my wife does trapeze and is strong and thin, but the women in Victoria's Secret are skinny. I'm all for women in underwear, and these are absolutely gorgeous, but I wouldn't mind seeing a woman with some good curves.

Maybe there needs to be a SPECIAL Victoria's Secret Special for women with hips!

 Does anyone agree with me?

Seth Godin's Formula For Success in 2012 and Beyond

How To Succeed in The "New Economy" according to Seth Godin...

Let me make this clear- I think Seth Godin is brilliant. I love how he writes, and how he has been on the cutting edge of marketing and the world of business from an IDEA standpoint instead of the money standpoint. He makes a clear distinction between doing something for a PURPOSE versus doing something for an "advantage". "Tribes" is probably his most powerful book, but I have almost all of them, and I eagerly pre-order a Seth Godin release the second I hear about it.

What does Seth Godin say now?

This video clip has Seth Godin sitting down with some dude talking about why people now have to take their own financial destinies into their own hands. "Pick Yourself" he says, and I've been doing it for years now.
 
Seth Godin says "Pick Yourself"

 I keep telling people that I don't have to ask permission from anyone where or when I can go eat, go to the bathroom, release my book, play HALO, or do ANYTHING because I create my own income... Some days I'm better than others, but that's not the point! What do YOU want to do in life? WHY should you create a new independent course for yourself?

Will you follow Seth Godin's advice?

If you want to start being more independent, I suggest you take a look at how we're creating incomes with this blog. You don't need to wait for anyone's permission- you can really "Pick Yourself"

PICK YOURSELF HERE

Look Sexy, Save Money, and Help Some Sick Kids...

Today is Black Friday, and the stores are selling, selling, selling. Well today, I felt like I should be helping someone, and I realized that I have stuff to sell, and I could help people along the way...
One of my best books- "Half-Assed Health- How To Look Good Naked -WITHOUT Starving, Suffering, or Surgery" is available today for $4.99, and for every purchase, I'm going to give someone a 10-minute consultation, AND donate a dollar towards the Stevens Johnson Syndrome Foundation.

When you buy HALF ASSED HEALTH, you'll realize how the Workout industry just churns people and makes money from their misery, making things FAR more complicated than thy need to be, so they can continue to make money on people's fears.

IT"S IN THEIR INTEREST TO MAKE THINGS COMPLICATED!

 In my book, I break down the SIMPLEST, EASIEST and FASTEST ways to change your body- and you can read it in ONE sitting.

 Many people don't know this, but when I was little I had Stevens-Johnson Syndrome, and it's a horrible disease. In me, it was a reaction to Penicillin and what happens is that your body actually BURNS ITSELF from the inside out. The people have to go to the BURN UNIT, and are treated for relief- there is no cure. Manute Bol died of it, as many people do. 80% of people are left blind in one or both eyes, and it's pretty traumatizing. I was in the hospital for 2 months, and went to school very late into 1st grade, where all the kids thought I was very dirty (My skin was all different colors).

  Anyway, I hope you'll watch the video, and use $5 of non-shopping to help me make a small difference to some sick people, and get SEXY-LOOKING at the same time!

Lucky Guy?

So, when a guy gets married, it’s polite to call him “Lucky“.

“Oh, she’s a great lady- you’re a LUCKY guy!” people say. And whereas I’m sure it’s true sometimes, why is it that we say that? It’s not much of a compliment to the woman, now is it? “Oh, well- you got that girl, who OBVIOUSLY is an idiot, otherwise she wouldn't have picked YOU!”

That’s an insult to both of them, isn't it?

Like, he’s LUCKY that she had NO OTHER OPTIONS to choose from?

Well, I got news for you, and on behalf of all of us guys who were “lucky” enough to find some great women-

IT TAKES BALLS.

So maybe we were “lucky” enough that we HAD THE BALLS to ask out our women, court them, romance them, and eventually marry them. Maybe we were “lucky” enough not to let the opportunity pass us by, and instead put our hearts on the line and commit despite the fact that NO man actually wants to do that (yeah, I said it).

Maybe we were “lucky” enough that when she was crying we CARED and let her have a shoulder and a manly, soothing, protective hug.

Maybe we were “Lucky” enough to tell our friends “she’s the one” and tell the other women “sorry, I’m taken”.

But that hasn’t been my experience. For me, everytime I’ve found myself with a woman, it took some sort of RISK, I took a CHANCE, and it took BALLS for me to get there.

Saying hello takes BALLS.

Asking for her name when all you want to do is rip off her clothes takes BALLS.

Leaning in for the first kiss takes BALLS.

Saying “I don’t know what the future holds, but dammit, I want to spend it with you, and I’ll do whatever I can to put a smile on your face” TAKES BALLS.

And women like men with BALLS.

So yeah, I know some guys who are ultra-duds and they’re with some hot but so-desperate-I-was-getting-older-and-I-wanted-to-get-married women who were lucky to be in the right place at the right time, but even then- it took BALLS.

So next time you hear someone say that to a guy, just remember that even if he’s a sloppy, slovenly, dumb, ugly, unmotivated, broke loser- at some point, he had some BALLS.

and to BE LUCKY TAKES BALLS.

So- do you have what it takes to get LUCKY?

It’s like growing a business- sure, some guys get lucky, but some guys GROW SOME BALLS AND GO FOR IT.

Will You?'

P.S- If you’re a guy who “Got Lucky” with his woman, why not pass this around- no one will think you’re being arrogant, and if they do- f*ck ‘em! BALLS.

P.P.S- By the way, ALLLLLL of this stands for women too. And for women, it can be even harder, because you’re not expected to “Have Balls” I mean, the metaphor is… BALLS! Maybe we should call them “OVARIES”!

The Moment It All Changes

This feels unfinished, but doesn't everything...?
*****************

As this book opens, we see you reading it. The surrounding areas are a picture of your life right now. This is the beginning of our movie, and you’re the star- we know this because we’ve started with you, sitting there, reading this.

The thing is, we flash back to that time you wanted to do something, that thing you wanted to do, we see scenes of your life where you have failed over and over, and we see how those times, and what you learned during them have brought you to your current life- sitting there reading this,

But now we see you take a deep breath.

You let it out slowly- with resolve, you look at the camera and say:

Today is going to be different!

That thing you wanted to do today, that thing that you were going to put off- that reason that you bought this book, in the small hopes that it would get you off your ass to go TRY- that reason is now the thing you ARE going to do. You have no doubt about it-

The audience swells in a little cheer as we see you take another deep breath, look to camera and say- YES- I WILL!!

The couple in the front row hold each other a little tighter, because your resolve has spread to them- he’;s going to be a better husband, she is going to be a better wife. Your resolve to finally go do that thing you really, really want to try has given them courage to be better for each other.

The old man in the middle seat smiles wide, his wrinkles and age spots coming together in a dance like the stars on the night sky, remembering a time when he went for it- that girl, that job, that small showing of courage and telling life that he would not be denied. His feeling reminds him of what it is like to be alive, and he too resolves that he is not dead- dammit, if he can watch a movie, and he can breath, then dammit- he can still go do it!

You smile at your audience, knowing that you have done this for them, and you immediately get started on your plan. You know that every montage needs a list of actions, and most have a paper plan- step 1- is always to begin, even if the hero doesn’t know what to do.

so you start. My god, the makeup people have done a fantastic job because you look amazing. The lighting people have this glow that is coming from you, the music swells, and the camera pans in to watch you working hard towards your goal. We all know that you will make it if you keep it up.

You begin with excitement and energy; you feel like you are a new person, and you are- you are now one of those people who does the thing- not anymore being someone who SAYS they’re “going to” or a non-whatever- you are an actual member of that elite group- you call yourself by one of those titles even before you have actually finished because you know you will accomplish it, you just haven’t caught up to that moment in time yet.

We are watching your montage- you have never been so attractive because your light shines from the inside, your resolve, your spirit, your LIFE has led you to this moment, and we feel happy and giddy as we watch you take action.

Your first obstacle comes up, and whereas before it would be a stumbling block, maybe even something that would have prevented your goal, you break through it simply because you have already made that decision- there’s nothing to think about anymore- you are in the PROCESS, and it doesn’t end here- the PROCESS ends at the finish line, at the goal, at the end- when you WIN.

It doesn’t actually matter when that is, how far in the future, or even if it’s beyond your lifetime- you have set the actions in motion, and the audience watches, now knowing how the movie ends, but wanting to watch it happen.

And then you stop.

You stop for a second.

Just to reflect on what has happened.

Not just in this montage, but from the beginning- you watch that horrible thing that happened so long ago, and realize that it HAD to happen for you to come to this point in your life. You can actually look at that horrible time in your life, and from this perspective be GRATEFUL for it, because of how it has all turned out.

Without that horrible experience, which you cursed at the time, you wouldn’t be able to do what you are doing now. You see it again, from this perspective, and its pain has transformed. It’s not that the memory doesn’t hurt; it still does, but you relish in it. From this perspective, it gives you a new appreciation for the rest of your life- you see it all as a part of what has brought you to now.

And that’s when it happens.

In the middle of this montage.

Your actions, and reflections. Your past and present.

You see your life from the FUTURE, and realize that it has ALWAYS been about building you towards the next thing you want to do. The next thing you want to BECOME.

Your entire life: the childhood traumas, the teen angst, the adult insecurities, the middle-age doubts, the senior fears have all conspired together to help you CREATE WHO YOU ARE- you ARE these experiences, and you ARE the choices, and you ARE the PROCESS itself.

From this vantage point, the audience watching your growth cheers, seeing themselves in the process, seeing themselves as the challenges, seeing themselves AS the process.

We ARE the process, and we can cheer about every part of it. We stand up, together, cheering, applauding your progress, your life- because it is our own.

WE Cheer as we take a long view- one that spans forever, seeing the entire movie that has no beginning and no ending, but a never ending PROCESS of one decision to the next, creating a weaving pattern of CHANGE that brings about the beautiful nature of the Universe, created by us-

BEGUN WITH YOUR DECISION, BEGUN WITH YOUR NOW.