I think this is a great and creative video, and was thinking about using it as a recruitment video.
There are so many people out there who really do work too damn hard, and they don't even see it.
Kudos to the people who filmed this!
Monday, May 31, 2010
Sunday, May 09, 2010
Well, I survived "The Marriage Ref"
I was pretty terrified on Thursday night, because we had taped "The Marriage Ref" a few weeks ago, and I was worried that they were going to cut it so I looked like the worst male chauvanist scumbag.
Well, they didn't do that however:
The entire section was about whether or not I was GAY!!
See for yourself (we're the second couple):
See what I mean? Well, a bunch of friends saw it (I AM a shameless self-promoter), and everyone said I held my own, which was quite a relief. The next day I got a ton of facebook messages and posts, mostly jokes that were "I-didn't-know-you-were-gay" themed. I was also on a couple of blogs:
http://spanengrish.blogspot.com/2010/05/marriage-ref-thank-you-gwen.html
http://celebgalz.com/greg-giraldo-greg-giraldo-gay-jokes-on-bones-rodriguez-photo-video/
(Yes, one is titled "Gay Jokes on Bones Rodriguez"... great.)
In the midst of all of this, I've been looking at a new business, and I pulled the trigger and opened up shop-
STAY TUNED for the announcement on that!
Well, they didn't do that however:
The entire section was about whether or not I was GAY!!
See for yourself (we're the second couple):
See what I mean? Well, a bunch of friends saw it (I AM a shameless self-promoter), and everyone said I held my own, which was quite a relief. The next day I got a ton of facebook messages and posts, mostly jokes that were "I-didn't-know-you-were-gay" themed. I was also on a couple of blogs:
http://spanengrish.blogspot.com/2010/05/marriage-ref-thank-you-gwen.html
http://celebgalz.com/greg-giraldo-greg-giraldo-gay-jokes-on-bones-rodriguez-photo-video/
(Yes, one is titled "Gay Jokes on Bones Rodriguez"... great.)
In the midst of all of this, I've been looking at a new business, and I pulled the trigger and opened up shop-
STAY TUNED for the announcement on that!
Well, I survived "The Marriage Ref"
I was pretty terrified on Thursday night, because we had taped "The Marriage Ref" a few weeks ago, and I was worried that they were going to cut it so I looked like the worst male chauvanist scumbag.
Well, they didn't do that however:
The entire section was about whether or not I was GAY!!
See for yourself (we're the second couple):
See what I mean? Well, a bunch of friends saw it (I AM a shameless self-promoter), and everyone said I held my own, which was quite a relief. The next day I got a ton of facebook messages and posts, mostly jokes that were "I-didn't-know-you-were-gay" themed. I was also on a couple of blogs:
http://spanengrish.blogspot.com/2010/05/marriage-ref-thank-you-gwen.html
http://celebgalz.com/greg-giraldo-greg-giraldo-gay-jokes-on-bones-rodriguez-photo-video/
(Yes, one is titled "Gay Jokes on Bones Rodriguez"... great.)
In the midst of all of this, I've been looking at a new business, and I pulled the trigger and opened up shop-
STAY TUNED for the announcement on that!
Well, they didn't do that however:
The entire section was about whether or not I was GAY!!
See for yourself (we're the second couple):
See what I mean? Well, a bunch of friends saw it (I AM a shameless self-promoter), and everyone said I held my own, which was quite a relief. The next day I got a ton of facebook messages and posts, mostly jokes that were "I-didn't-know-you-were-gay" themed. I was also on a couple of blogs:
http://spanengrish.blogspot.com/2010/05/marriage-ref-thank-you-gwen.html
http://celebgalz.com/greg-giraldo-greg-giraldo-gay-jokes-on-bones-rodriguez-photo-video/
(Yes, one is titled "Gay Jokes on Bones Rodriguez"... great.)
In the midst of all of this, I've been looking at a new business, and I pulled the trigger and opened up shop-
STAY TUNED for the announcement on that!
Wednesday, May 05, 2010
How to Start a Movement
Derek Sivers ends this obvious lesson with a twist that I hadn't thought of:
Sunday, May 02, 2010
Fair Trade Coffee from HUB
Fair Trade Coffee creates FREEDOM for farmers in other parts of the world;
that's why I'm helping:
CLICK HERE TO HELP THE FARMERS
that's why I'm helping:
CLICK HERE TO HELP THE FARMERS
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Marriage Ref: "Stripper Chic"- Bones Rodriguez and Laura Valpey Rodriguez
We're on "The Marriage Ref" in two weeks, and the preview is on NBC.com!
Rick told me not to say "Stripper Chic", but the truth is that the women in Miami Beach all dress... differently than the women in the rest of the country. Do you think I'll win?
Marriage Ref: "Stripper Chic"- Bones Rodriguez and Laura Valpey Rodriguez
We're on "The Marriage Ref" in two weeks, and the preview is on NBC.com!
Rick told me not to say "Stripper Chic", but the truth is that the women in Miami Beach all dress... differently than the women in the rest of the country. Do you think I'll win?
Thursday, March 18, 2010
The Problem with a Gemini Masturbating...
"Hey- are you done yet?"
"I don't wanna cum until after you do..."
"We're gonna be here a loooong time"
"I don't wanna cum until after you do..."
"We're gonna be here a loooong time"
The Problem with a Gemini Masturbating...
"Hey- are you done yet?"
"I don't wanna cum until after you do..."
"We're gonna be here a loooong time"
"I don't wanna cum until after you do..."
"We're gonna be here a loooong time"
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
The Zeitgeist Addendum Movie- Watch this NOW!
This movie may change your entire life... not a joke. Lately I've been talking about a lot of different ideas that are in this film, and I think I somehow asked the Universe to send it to me. I hope you watch the whole thing:
If you liked it, CLICK HERE
If you liked it, CLICK HERE
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Are Haiti and Chile collecting on a tithe we owe?
I read a lot of "Spiritual Success" books, and all of them say that giving is the way to increase your luck and prosperity. They also talk about tithing and giving to charity as a way to show your gratitude to the Universe, and that when you don't, that the Universe often collects with bad luck anyway.
Don't tithe or give, and you'll find that the Universe needs you to pay for a car repair, or you suddenly need to pay for a broken leg.
Well, we have created the most prosperous society the world has ever seen, and yet, so many of us are destitute- even starving.
Here's my question- if not for disasters like the Earthquakes, when would we give our money and support to these countries? History has shown that we only do it when it serves our ECONOMIC purposes, except for times of human tragedy, so it seems to me that The Universe is collecting on it's tithe.
Maybe we could see that is IS in our economic interest to help these countries to become prosperous to begin with, and then maybe- just maybe- The Universe won't have to force us by these tragedies.
Just a thought....
Don't tithe or give, and you'll find that the Universe needs you to pay for a car repair, or you suddenly need to pay for a broken leg.
Well, we have created the most prosperous society the world has ever seen, and yet, so many of us are destitute- even starving.
Here's my question- if not for disasters like the Earthquakes, when would we give our money and support to these countries? History has shown that we only do it when it serves our ECONOMIC purposes, except for times of human tragedy, so it seems to me that The Universe is collecting on it's tithe.
Maybe we could see that is IS in our economic interest to help these countries to become prosperous to begin with, and then maybe- just maybe- The Universe won't have to force us by these tragedies.
Just a thought....
Are Haiti and Chile collecting on a tithe we owe?
I read a lot of "Spiritual Success" books, and all of them say that giving is the way to increase your luck and prosperity. They also talk about tithing and giving to charity as a way to show your gratitude to the Universe, and that when you don't, that the Universe often collects with bad luck anyway.
Don't tithe or give, and you'll find that the Universe needs you to pay for a car repair, or you suddenly need to pay for a broken leg.
Well, we have created the most prosperous society the world has ever seen, and yet, so many of us are destitute- even starving.
Here's my question- if not for disasters like the Earthquakes, when would we give our money and support to these countries? History has shown that we only do it when it serves our ECONOMIC purposes, except for times of human tragedy, so it seems to me that The Universe is collecting on it's tithe.
Maybe we could see that is IS in our economic interest to help these countries to become prosperous to begin with, and then maybe- just maybe- The Universe won't have to force us by these tragedies.
Just a thought....
Don't tithe or give, and you'll find that the Universe needs you to pay for a car repair, or you suddenly need to pay for a broken leg.
Well, we have created the most prosperous society the world has ever seen, and yet, so many of us are destitute- even starving.
Here's my question- if not for disasters like the Earthquakes, when would we give our money and support to these countries? History has shown that we only do it when it serves our ECONOMIC purposes, except for times of human tragedy, so it seems to me that The Universe is collecting on it's tithe.
Maybe we could see that is IS in our economic interest to help these countries to become prosperous to begin with, and then maybe- just maybe- The Universe won't have to force us by these tragedies.
Just a thought....
Friday, February 26, 2010
Lessons on The New World Order and Star Trek...
How to Fight Fear, War, and Every Enemy you ever have...
Make them your friends!
Make them your friends!
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
My Worlds Collide- Andrea Martin and Me!
Ok, so here;s the story-
I've been hired as he spokesperson for Leblon Cachaca and the Legalize Cachaca movement, and this day I walked into a sports store on Alton avenue in Miami, and there's a picture of Quark in the store.
I say "Hey- It's Quark!". A woman at the desk says "Yes, well, I played Moogie- do you know who that is?"
I looked at her like "Please, don't insult me- of course I do", and I mentioned that I wrote Captain Kirk's Guide To Women. The woman is Andrea Martin, one of the women to play Quark's mother.
Well, we both had a chuckle over the coincidence, and we took a picture together.
Ain't that worth a latinum bar or two?
I've been hired as he spokesperson for Leblon Cachaca and the Legalize Cachaca movement, and this day I walked into a sports store on Alton avenue in Miami, and there's a picture of Quark in the store.
I say "Hey- It's Quark!". A woman at the desk says "Yes, well, I played Moogie- do you know who that is?"
I looked at her like "Please, don't insult me- of course I do", and I mentioned that I wrote Captain Kirk's Guide To Women. The woman is Andrea Martin, one of the women to play Quark's mother.
Well, we both had a chuckle over the coincidence, and we took a picture together.
Ain't that worth a latinum bar or two?
Monday, February 15, 2010
Sunday, February 14, 2010
ValentiMe's Day....
Just because it is my favorite f the sketches I've written:
and here's "Ring Shopping": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBOoamuwzAs
Happy Valentime's Day!
and here's "Ring Shopping": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBOoamuwzAs
Happy Valentime's Day!
ValentiMe's Day....
Just because it is my favorite f the sketches I've written:
and here's "Ring Shopping": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBOoamuwzAs
Happy Valentime's Day!
and here's "Ring Shopping": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBOoamuwzAs
Happy Valentime's Day!
Monday, February 08, 2010
Big Al tells it like it is...
I'm on "Big Al" Schrieter's email list, and there are some days I really like it, and some days not so much. For the most part,l I usually find something worth keeping, and I put it into my "mlm" folder. Today, he wrote something I REALLY liked, and I want to pass it on:
"Are you a walking "bad advertisement" for your business?
"Every day the ant works all day. Every hour the ant is busy. And in the end what happens?"
"Someone steps on him."
Many network marketers work their business every free hour they have. Weeknights, weekends, holidays, family reunions, wedding receptions, every event is an opportunity to pass out business cards, catalogs, brochures, audios and . . .
What's happening?
These network marketers are working all day, just like the ant. They are so busy with activities, they fail to see the big picture or real goal. We just hope these networkers don't get stepped on like the ant.
Here is a point of view that networkers should consider:
1. If you spend all your free time building your business, what is your prospect going to see? Your prospect will avoid joining your business because he doesn't want to spend every waking hour networking.
2. If you advertise how network marketing gives you time and money freedom, yet you work your business every waking hour, doesn't something feel wrong with this picture?
3. And what about all this activity? Networking should be simple. If all we have to do is sponsor a few people and build them into leaders, then what's all this other activity about?
4. Would a balanced, happy life attract more prospects?
We are living advertisements for network marketing. We should be careful what our advertising says.
What does your advertising say? "
BOOM. I was taught to work my business ALL THE TIME, and right now, as I'm working for someone else, it makes me a great worker and a great example in the company- but it certainly doesn't make me a good example for the networker lifestyle.
But think about this- If you DID work your business all the time, I'll bet your sponsor would be happy about it- They might even reward you for it, but remember this- Your sponsor does NOT care about your life success- just your MLM business' success.
I am going to try to remember to be the example of FUN I want to be in my businesses from now on!
"Are you a walking "bad advertisement" for your business?
"Every day the ant works all day. Every hour the ant is busy. And in the end what happens?"
"Someone steps on him."
Many network marketers work their business every free hour they have. Weeknights, weekends, holidays, family reunions, wedding receptions, every event is an opportunity to pass out business cards, catalogs, brochures, audios and . . .
What's happening?
These network marketers are working all day, just like the ant. They are so busy with activities, they fail to see the big picture or real goal. We just hope these networkers don't get stepped on like the ant.
Here is a point of view that networkers should consider:
1. If you spend all your free time building your business, what is your prospect going to see? Your prospect will avoid joining your business because he doesn't want to spend every waking hour networking.
2. If you advertise how network marketing gives you time and money freedom, yet you work your business every waking hour, doesn't something feel wrong with this picture?
3. And what about all this activity? Networking should be simple. If all we have to do is sponsor a few people and build them into leaders, then what's all this other activity about?
4. Would a balanced, happy life attract more prospects?
We are living advertisements for network marketing. We should be careful what our advertising says.
What does your advertising say? "
BOOM. I was taught to work my business ALL THE TIME, and right now, as I'm working for someone else, it makes me a great worker and a great example in the company- but it certainly doesn't make me a good example for the networker lifestyle.
But think about this- If you DID work your business all the time, I'll bet your sponsor would be happy about it- They might even reward you for it, but remember this- Your sponsor does NOT care about your life success- just your MLM business' success.
I am going to try to remember to be the example of FUN I want to be in my businesses from now on!
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
George and Runner the painting, talking horse
Once upon a time, there was a man named George who wanted to race horses, win a lot of trophies, and make a lot of money.
George went out and found the world's fastest horse, Runner. George watched him win a few races, made a big investment, and bought him so he could win races.
George was very excited about his champion racing horse, and really looked forward to watching him cross the finish line. George bought a stable right by the racetrack, and brushed his horse everyday as he thought about the wonderful future that was ahead for the two of them.
Runner was really excited too, because Runner loved to race. He trained all the time, ate well, and even read books on racing (he was a very smart horse). Runner dreamed of racing, and thought everything else was a waste of time.
George wanted Runner to look good when he was racing, so instead of taking him to the races, he thought he'd go get Runner's hooves cleaned. Runner wanted to be running, but he figured he should do what George said- besides, his hooves really did look better.
The next day, there was a big race, but George wanted Runner to learn to paint a fence with his tail. It might not make any sense to you, but George thought that more people would come to see Runner run races if he could also paint a fence. For a week, Runner was in painting school; at the end, he had a white fence.
"What a great fence!" George said.
Runner (a VERY smart horse) spoke to George, and said "I would love to run a race tomorrow, do you think I could do that now that I am done painting?" George was surprised his horse was so smart he could talk, and he got another idea.
George got a truck and put Runner on display with a big sign that said "See Runner, the talking horse at the races this weekend!".
Well, Runner really didn't like to drive around in the truck all week because he wanted to be racing, but he figured he'd better do what George said because otherwise he was never going to get to race anymore. Besides, he knew that the sign said he'd get to race on the weekend!
Runner was super-excited about getting the chance to run again. He really wanted to win races for George, get trophies for George, and make a lot of money for George.
When Friday night came, George came to the stable with a very disappointed look. "Runner," he said "I bought you so you could win races. So far, it's been two weeks, I've spent all this money, and you haven't won anything! I'm afraid I'm going to have to turn you into glue just so I don't have to keep feeding you."
Runner said "George, please just let me out to race tomorrow, and you'll see! All this time I've been wanting to race, but you wanted me to paint a fence, and drive a truck- just let me race in all the races, and you'll get all the trophies and all the money you can handle!"
"Sorry Runner," George said "It's too late- I already made the deal."
And that's the story of Runner and George, where the world's fastest horse was turned into the world's cheapest glue.
As for George, he never got to win any trophies, he lost all his money, and he eventually jumped off a bridge. But just before he jumped he said to himself "This is all Runner's fault- he should have won races for me."
George went out and found the world's fastest horse, Runner. George watched him win a few races, made a big investment, and bought him so he could win races.
George was very excited about his champion racing horse, and really looked forward to watching him cross the finish line. George bought a stable right by the racetrack, and brushed his horse everyday as he thought about the wonderful future that was ahead for the two of them.
Runner was really excited too, because Runner loved to race. He trained all the time, ate well, and even read books on racing (he was a very smart horse). Runner dreamed of racing, and thought everything else was a waste of time.
George wanted Runner to look good when he was racing, so instead of taking him to the races, he thought he'd go get Runner's hooves cleaned. Runner wanted to be running, but he figured he should do what George said- besides, his hooves really did look better.
The next day, there was a big race, but George wanted Runner to learn to paint a fence with his tail. It might not make any sense to you, but George thought that more people would come to see Runner run races if he could also paint a fence. For a week, Runner was in painting school; at the end, he had a white fence.
"What a great fence!" George said.
Runner (a VERY smart horse) spoke to George, and said "I would love to run a race tomorrow, do you think I could do that now that I am done painting?" George was surprised his horse was so smart he could talk, and he got another idea.
George got a truck and put Runner on display with a big sign that said "See Runner, the talking horse at the races this weekend!".
Well, Runner really didn't like to drive around in the truck all week because he wanted to be racing, but he figured he'd better do what George said because otherwise he was never going to get to race anymore. Besides, he knew that the sign said he'd get to race on the weekend!
Runner was super-excited about getting the chance to run again. He really wanted to win races for George, get trophies for George, and make a lot of money for George.
When Friday night came, George came to the stable with a very disappointed look. "Runner," he said "I bought you so you could win races. So far, it's been two weeks, I've spent all this money, and you haven't won anything! I'm afraid I'm going to have to turn you into glue just so I don't have to keep feeding you."
Runner said "George, please just let me out to race tomorrow, and you'll see! All this time I've been wanting to race, but you wanted me to paint a fence, and drive a truck- just let me race in all the races, and you'll get all the trophies and all the money you can handle!"
"Sorry Runner," George said "It's too late- I already made the deal."
And that's the story of Runner and George, where the world's fastest horse was turned into the world's cheapest glue.
As for George, he never got to win any trophies, he lost all his money, and he eventually jumped off a bridge. But just before he jumped he said to himself "This is all Runner's fault- he should have won races for me."
Monday, February 01, 2010
How to Kiss Your Way Out Of Space-Jail
This is how you do it:
And then you apologize to Camera, and escape!
And then you apologize to Camera, and escape!
Thursday, January 21, 2010
George and Runner the painting, talking horse
Once upon a time, there was a man named George who wanted to race horses, win a lot of trophies, and make a lot of money.
George went out and found the world's fastest horse, Runner. George watched him win a few races, made a big investment, and bought him so he could win races.
George was very excited about his champion racing horse, and really looked forward to watching him cross the finish line. George bought a stable right by the racetrack, and brushed his horse everyday as he thought about the wonderful future that was ahead for the two of them.
Runner was really excited too, because Runner loved to race. He trained all the time, ate well, and even read books on racing (he was a very smart horse). Runner dreamed of racing, and thought everything else was a waste of time.
George wanted Runner to look good when he was racing, so instead of taking him to the races, he thought he'd go get Runner's hooves cleaned. Runner wanted to be running, but he figured he should do what George said- besides, his hooves really did look better.
The next day, there was a big race, but George wanted Runner to learn to paint a fence with his tail. It might not make any sense to you, but George thought that more people would come to see Runner run races if he could also paint a fence. For a week, Runner was in painting school; at the end, he had a white fence.
"What a great fence!" George said.
Runner (a VERY smart horse) spoke to George, and said "I would love to run a race tomorrow, do you think I could do that now that I am done painting?" George was surprised his horse was so smart he could talk, and he got another idea.
George got a truck and put Runner on display with a big sign that said "See Runner, the talking horse at the races this weekend!".
Well, Runner really didn't like to drive around in the truck all week because he wanted to be racing, but he figured he'd better do what George said because otherwise he was never going to get to race anymore. Besides, he knew that the sign said he'd get to race on the weekend!
Runner was super-excited about getting the chance to run again. He really wanted to win races for George, get trophies for George, and make a lot of money for George.
When Friday night came, George came to the stable with a very disappointed look. "Runner," he said "I bought you so you could win races. So far, it's been two weeks, I've spent all this money, and you haven't won anything! I'm afraid I'm going to have to turn you into glue just so I don't have to keep feeding you."
Runner said "George, please just let me out to race tomorrow, and you'll see! All this time I've been wanting to race, but you wanted me to paint a fence, and drive a truck- just let me race in all the races, and you'll get all the trophies and all the money you can handle!"
"Sorry Runner," George said "It's too late- I already made the deal."
And that's the story of Runner and George, where the world's fastest horse was turned into the world's cheapest glue.
As for George, he never got to win any trophies, he lost all his money, and he eventually jumped off a bridge. But just before he jumped he said to himself "This is all Runner's fault- he should have won races for me."
George went out and found the world's fastest horse, Runner. George watched him win a few races, made a big investment, and bought him so he could win races.
George was very excited about his champion racing horse, and really looked forward to watching him cross the finish line. George bought a stable right by the racetrack, and brushed his horse everyday as he thought about the wonderful future that was ahead for the two of them.
Runner was really excited too, because Runner loved to race. He trained all the time, ate well, and even read books on racing (he was a very smart horse). Runner dreamed of racing, and thought everything else was a waste of time.
George wanted Runner to look good when he was racing, so instead of taking him to the races, he thought he'd go get Runner's hooves cleaned. Runner wanted to be running, but he figured he should do what George said- besides, his hooves really did look better.
The next day, there was a big race, but George wanted Runner to learn to paint a fence with his tail. It might not make any sense to you, but George thought that more people would come to see Runner run races if he could also paint a fence. For a week, Runner was in painting school; at the end, he had a white fence.
"What a great fence!" George said.
Runner (a VERY smart horse) spoke to George, and said "I would love to run a race tomorrow, do you think I could do that now that I am done painting?" George was surprised his horse was so smart he could talk, and he got another idea.
George got a truck and put Runner on display with a big sign that said "See Runner, the talking horse at the races this weekend!".
Well, Runner really didn't like to drive around in the truck all week because he wanted to be racing, but he figured he'd better do what George said because otherwise he was never going to get to race anymore. Besides, he knew that the sign said he'd get to race on the weekend!
Runner was super-excited about getting the chance to run again. He really wanted to win races for George, get trophies for George, and make a lot of money for George.
When Friday night came, George came to the stable with a very disappointed look. "Runner," he said "I bought you so you could win races. So far, it's been two weeks, I've spent all this money, and you haven't won anything! I'm afraid I'm going to have to turn you into glue just so I don't have to keep feeding you."
Runner said "George, please just let me out to race tomorrow, and you'll see! All this time I've been wanting to race, but you wanted me to paint a fence, and drive a truck- just let me race in all the races, and you'll get all the trophies and all the money you can handle!"
"Sorry Runner," George said "It's too late- I already made the deal."
And that's the story of Runner and George, where the world's fastest horse was turned into the world's cheapest glue.
As for George, he never got to win any trophies, he lost all his money, and he eventually jumped off a bridge. But just before he jumped he said to himself "This is all Runner's fault- he should have won races for me."
George and Runner the painting, talking horse
Once upon a time, there was a man named George who wanted to race horses, win a lot of trophies, and make a lot of money.
George went out and found the world's fastest horse, Runner. George watched him win a few races, made a big investment, and bought him so he could win races.
George was very excited about his champion racing horse, and really looked forward to watching him cross the finish line. George bought a stable right by the racetrack, and brushed his horse everyday as he thought about the wonderful future that was ahead for the two of them.
Runner was really excited too, because Runner loved to race. He trained all the time, ate well, and even read books on racing (he was a very smart horse). Runner dreamed of racing, and thought everything else was a waste of time.
George wanted Runner to look good when he was racing, so instead of taking him to the races, he thought he'd go get Runner's hooves cleaned. Runner wanted to be running, but he figured he should do what George said- besides, his hooves really did look better.
The next day, there was a big race, but George wanted Runner to learn to paint a fence with his tail. It might not make any sense to you, but George thought that more people would come to see Runner run races if he could also paint a fence. For a week, Runner was in painting school; at the end, he had a white fence.
"What a great fence!" George said.
Runner (a VERY smart horse) spoke to George, and said "I would love to run a race tomorrow, do you think I could do that now that I am done painting?" George was surprised his horse was so smart he could talk, and he got another idea.
George got a truck and put Runner on display with a big sign that said "See Runner, the talking horse at the races this weekend!".
Well, Runner really didn't like to drive around in the truck all week because he wanted to be racing, but he figured he'd better do what George said because otherwise he was never going to get to race anymore. Besides, he knew that the sign said he'd get to race on the weekend!
Runner was super-excited about getting the chance to run again. He really wanted to win races for George, get trophies for George, and make a lot of money for George.
When Friday night came, George came to the stable with a very disappointed look. "Runner," he said "I bought you so you could win races. So far, it's been two weeks, I've spent all this money, and you haven't won anything! I'm afraid I'm going to have to turn you into glue just so I don't have to keep feeding you."
Runner said "George, please just let me out to race tomorrow, and you'll see! All this time I've been wanting to race, but you wanted me to paint a fence, and drive a truck- just let me race in all the races, and you'll get all the trophies and all the money you can handle!"
"Sorry Runner," George said "It's too late- I already made the deal."
And that's the story of Runner and George, where the world's fastest horse was turned into the world's cheapest glue.
As for George, he never got to win any trophies, he lost all his money, and he eventually jumped off a bridge. But just before he jumped he said to himself "This is all Runner's fault- he should have won races for me."
George went out and found the world's fastest horse, Runner. George watched him win a few races, made a big investment, and bought him so he could win races.
George was very excited about his champion racing horse, and really looked forward to watching him cross the finish line. George bought a stable right by the racetrack, and brushed his horse everyday as he thought about the wonderful future that was ahead for the two of them.
Runner was really excited too, because Runner loved to race. He trained all the time, ate well, and even read books on racing (he was a very smart horse). Runner dreamed of racing, and thought everything else was a waste of time.
George wanted Runner to look good when he was racing, so instead of taking him to the races, he thought he'd go get Runner's hooves cleaned. Runner wanted to be running, but he figured he should do what George said- besides, his hooves really did look better.
The next day, there was a big race, but George wanted Runner to learn to paint a fence with his tail. It might not make any sense to you, but George thought that more people would come to see Runner run races if he could also paint a fence. For a week, Runner was in painting school; at the end, he had a white fence.
"What a great fence!" George said.
Runner (a VERY smart horse) spoke to George, and said "I would love to run a race tomorrow, do you think I could do that now that I am done painting?" George was surprised his horse was so smart he could talk, and he got another idea.
George got a truck and put Runner on display with a big sign that said "See Runner, the talking horse at the races this weekend!".
Well, Runner really didn't like to drive around in the truck all week because he wanted to be racing, but he figured he'd better do what George said because otherwise he was never going to get to race anymore. Besides, he knew that the sign said he'd get to race on the weekend!
Runner was super-excited about getting the chance to run again. He really wanted to win races for George, get trophies for George, and make a lot of money for George.
When Friday night came, George came to the stable with a very disappointed look. "Runner," he said "I bought you so you could win races. So far, it's been two weeks, I've spent all this money, and you haven't won anything! I'm afraid I'm going to have to turn you into glue just so I don't have to keep feeding you."
Runner said "George, please just let me out to race tomorrow, and you'll see! All this time I've been wanting to race, but you wanted me to paint a fence, and drive a truck- just let me race in all the races, and you'll get all the trophies and all the money you can handle!"
"Sorry Runner," George said "It's too late- I already made the deal."
And that's the story of Runner and George, where the world's fastest horse was turned into the world's cheapest glue.
As for George, he never got to win any trophies, he lost all his money, and he eventually jumped off a bridge. But just before he jumped he said to himself "This is all Runner's fault- he should have won races for me."
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Don't forget to LEGALIZE IT!
So, I've been hired to be the leader of the "Legalize Cachaca" movement, and I've set up a bunch of sites around the web. Here's a pic from our flickr:
You can see more of what we're up to at any of these sites:
http://www.CRNVL.org
http://www.YouTube.com/LegalizeCachaca
http://www.Flickr.com/legalizecachaca
http://www.Twitter.com/legalizecachaca
http://www.LegalizeCachaca.com
You can see more of what we're up to at any of these sites:
http://www.CRNVL.org
http://www.YouTube.com/LegalizeCachaca
http://www.Flickr.com/legalizecachaca
http://www.Twitter.com/legalizecachaca
http://www.LegalizeCachaca.com
Don't forget to LEGALIZE IT!
So, I've been hired to be the leader of the "Legalize Cachaca" movement, and I've set up a bunch of sites around the web. Here's a pic from our flickr:
You can see more of what we're up to at any of these sites:
http://www.CRNVL.org
http://www.YouTube.com/LegalizeCachaca
http://www.Flickr.com/legalizecachaca
http://www.Twitter.com/legalizecachaca
http://www.LegalizeCachaca.com
You can see more of what we're up to at any of these sites:
http://www.CRNVL.org
http://www.YouTube.com/LegalizeCachaca
http://www.Flickr.com/legalizecachaca
http://www.Twitter.com/legalizecachaca
http://www.LegalizeCachaca.com
Saturday, December 19, 2009
In case you don't believe me...
In case you don't believe all of the advice in Captain Kirk's Guide To Women, you can hear it straight from Bill:
Friday, December 18, 2009
Why I lied to my wife...
I had been lying to her for months.
My name is Bones Rodriguez, and I met Laura Valpey doing improvisational comedy in New York City. We were friends first, fell in love, and had been living together for two years when I had to start deceiving her.
We had so many funny conversations that I had made some of them into short sketches, and even turned one of them into a book- “Captain Kirk’s Guide To Women”, due out in February from Simon and Schuster.
I told her I wanted to perform seven sketches during my birthday party that year- which was to be held 3 weeks AFTER my birthday.
That was a lie.
I also told her that my mother was coming up to visit because she had a reunion that weekend, and she would come see the show- just to spend time with us.
That was another lie- but it just snowballed after that.
All of the friends I invited to the birthday party had to lie to her too- they all knew the truth, but were sworn to secrecy. The comedy group we were in together had to lie- they all memorized lines, and produced a show all built around the same secret:
I was going to propose to her that night.
In fact, I had written seven sketches all to set up for the fifth one- the one where “the couple” (we played ourselves) discusses engagement rings, and the unskilled guy needs tips from the girl.
We performed sketches about looking for the TV remote, sketches about internet dating, and sketches about sex. The audience started out nervous- we were all waiting for the big scene- but after a while the laughter came and they seemed to forget why they were there.
But I couldn’t let it go; The entire night I was unfocused, stuttering, and forgetting my lines left and right. My poor girlfriend had to keep feeding me my lines, but she just figured I was nervous because I had written the entire show.
Then came the “ring sketch”, and the audience stopped laughing.
You could hear a pin drop as we went through the scene, a chuckle here, and stifled laugh there. About 2 minutes into it, they loosened up, and they laughed easily again. I was playing the incompetent guy, not knowing how to look for a ring, classify a ring, or buy a ring. Laura said her lines about the weight, color, and style.
Then Laura’s line came: “I wanna be surprised”
Unbeknownst to her- this was my big moment. This is why I had written these sketches, and this is why I was onstage. This was why 50 people were in the audience, and why my mother flew up from Miami. This is the moment when I could stop lying, hiding and misleading.
I went off-script, and delivered a different line: “Are you sure?”
But she had been feeding me lines all night, and since we’re both trained improvisers, she just went with me:
“yeah”
But then she could see the look on my face when I called my best friend over to the stage:
“Ok… Hey Rick….”
The audience held their breath, and Rick brought the ring he had been holding in his pocket all night- the ring that I had bought months before, the ring I had hidden in a piece of furniture after staying up late nights doing “work”.
That’s when it hit her.
A sketch about looking for engagement rings? A birthday party three weeks after my birthday? Calling her parents to tell her all about the party and inviting them? She hid her face in her hands as I got down on one knee,
And asked her to do me the honor of becoming my wife.
And the best part?
She said yes!!
-And we got it all on video.
As my girlfriend-now-wife says in the video, I AM a show-off, but I initially got the proposal on video because I knew I would want to remember it forever. I also figured family members all around the world would like to see it too; Laura’s family is in Seattle and mine is scattered throughout Florida.
Watching it on video two years later, I still get the same butterflies in my stomach now as I did then. I was so happy, and so thrilled with that moment, I just wanted to share it with as many people as possible. I even made a website www.BonesLovesLaura.com just to let cyberspace share in it too.
What I didn’t expect were the comments! So many people have written in and the comments are so wonderful. Many of them are married people, or engaged people who were looking for innovative ways to propose, or just wanting to know what other people have done.
Our video is one of the most popular REAL proposal videos. There are some companies that have tried to copy our success by putting “rejected proposal” videos, but they’re all just bad advertising, and in my opinion, bad taste. Why ruin such a nice moment?
I think people like to see other people happy, and that’s why “feel-good” shows like Extreme Makeover Home Edition and Oprah do so well. Strong emotions bring us all together, and tears of joy are the best. I do a lot of things, I write, I act, and I have businesses, but this is far and away the best thing I have ever done.
And now I don’t have to lie to her anymore!
Wanna see it? Go here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7leiaqD-7DU
**************************************************
I wrote the above for an article that someone asked me for. I found it on my computer, and didn't know what to do with it, so here it is!
My name is Bones Rodriguez, and I met Laura Valpey doing improvisational comedy in New York City. We were friends first, fell in love, and had been living together for two years when I had to start deceiving her.
We had so many funny conversations that I had made some of them into short sketches, and even turned one of them into a book- “Captain Kirk’s Guide To Women”, due out in February from Simon and Schuster.
I told her I wanted to perform seven sketches during my birthday party that year- which was to be held 3 weeks AFTER my birthday.
That was a lie.
I also told her that my mother was coming up to visit because she had a reunion that weekend, and she would come see the show- just to spend time with us.
That was another lie- but it just snowballed after that.
All of the friends I invited to the birthday party had to lie to her too- they all knew the truth, but were sworn to secrecy. The comedy group we were in together had to lie- they all memorized lines, and produced a show all built around the same secret:
I was going to propose to her that night.
In fact, I had written seven sketches all to set up for the fifth one- the one where “the couple” (we played ourselves) discusses engagement rings, and the unskilled guy needs tips from the girl.
We performed sketches about looking for the TV remote, sketches about internet dating, and sketches about sex. The audience started out nervous- we were all waiting for the big scene- but after a while the laughter came and they seemed to forget why they were there.
But I couldn’t let it go; The entire night I was unfocused, stuttering, and forgetting my lines left and right. My poor girlfriend had to keep feeding me my lines, but she just figured I was nervous because I had written the entire show.
Then came the “ring sketch”, and the audience stopped laughing.
You could hear a pin drop as we went through the scene, a chuckle here, and stifled laugh there. About 2 minutes into it, they loosened up, and they laughed easily again. I was playing the incompetent guy, not knowing how to look for a ring, classify a ring, or buy a ring. Laura said her lines about the weight, color, and style.
Then Laura’s line came: “I wanna be surprised”
Unbeknownst to her- this was my big moment. This is why I had written these sketches, and this is why I was onstage. This was why 50 people were in the audience, and why my mother flew up from Miami. This is the moment when I could stop lying, hiding and misleading.
I went off-script, and delivered a different line: “Are you sure?”
But she had been feeding me lines all night, and since we’re both trained improvisers, she just went with me:
“yeah”
But then she could see the look on my face when I called my best friend over to the stage:
“Ok… Hey Rick….”
The audience held their breath, and Rick brought the ring he had been holding in his pocket all night- the ring that I had bought months before, the ring I had hidden in a piece of furniture after staying up late nights doing “work”.
That’s when it hit her.
A sketch about looking for engagement rings? A birthday party three weeks after my birthday? Calling her parents to tell her all about the party and inviting them? She hid her face in her hands as I got down on one knee,
And asked her to do me the honor of becoming my wife.
And the best part?
She said yes!!
-And we got it all on video.
As my girlfriend-now-wife says in the video, I AM a show-off, but I initially got the proposal on video because I knew I would want to remember it forever. I also figured family members all around the world would like to see it too; Laura’s family is in Seattle and mine is scattered throughout Florida.
Watching it on video two years later, I still get the same butterflies in my stomach now as I did then. I was so happy, and so thrilled with that moment, I just wanted to share it with as many people as possible. I even made a website www.BonesLovesLaura.com just to let cyberspace share in it too.
What I didn’t expect were the comments! So many people have written in and the comments are so wonderful. Many of them are married people, or engaged people who were looking for innovative ways to propose, or just wanting to know what other people have done.
Our video is one of the most popular REAL proposal videos. There are some companies that have tried to copy our success by putting “rejected proposal” videos, but they’re all just bad advertising, and in my opinion, bad taste. Why ruin such a nice moment?
I think people like to see other people happy, and that’s why “feel-good” shows like Extreme Makeover Home Edition and Oprah do so well. Strong emotions bring us all together, and tears of joy are the best. I do a lot of things, I write, I act, and I have businesses, but this is far and away the best thing I have ever done.
And now I don’t have to lie to her anymore!
Wanna see it? Go here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7leiaqD-7DU
**************************************************
I wrote the above for an article that someone asked me for. I found it on my computer, and didn't know what to do with it, so here it is!
Why I lied to my wife...
I had been lying to her for months.
My name is Bones Rodriguez, and I met Laura Valpey doing improvisational comedy in New York City. We were friends first, fell in love, and had been living together for two years when I had to start deceiving her.
We had so many funny conversations that I had made some of them into short sketches, and even turned one of them into a book- “Captain Kirk’s Guide To Women”, due out in February from Simon and Schuster.
I told her I wanted to perform seven sketches during my birthday party that year- which was to be held 3 weeks AFTER my birthday.
That was a lie.
I also told her that my mother was coming up to visit because she had a reunion that weekend, and she would come see the show- just to spend time with us.
That was another lie- but it just snowballed after that.
All of the friends I invited to the birthday party had to lie to her too- they all knew the truth, but were sworn to secrecy. The comedy group we were in together had to lie- they all memorized lines, and produced a show all built around the same secret:
I was going to propose to her that night.
In fact, I had written seven sketches all to set up for the fifth one- the one where “the couple” (we played ourselves) discusses engagement rings, and the unskilled guy needs tips from the girl.
We performed sketches about looking for the TV remote, sketches about internet dating, and sketches about sex. The audience started out nervous- we were all waiting for the big scene- but after a while the laughter came and they seemed to forget why they were there.
But I couldn’t let it go; The entire night I was unfocused, stuttering, and forgetting my lines left and right. My poor girlfriend had to keep feeding me my lines, but she just figured I was nervous because I had written the entire show.
Then came the “ring sketch”, and the audience stopped laughing.
You could hear a pin drop as we went through the scene, a chuckle here, and stifled laugh there. About 2 minutes into it, they loosened up, and they laughed easily again. I was playing the incompetent guy, not knowing how to look for a ring, classify a ring, or buy a ring. Laura said her lines about the weight, color, and style.
Then Laura’s line came: “I wanna be surprised”
Unbeknownst to her- this was my big moment. This is why I had written these sketches, and this is why I was onstage. This was why 50 people were in the audience, and why my mother flew up from Miami. This is the moment when I could stop lying, hiding and misleading.
I went off-script, and delivered a different line: “Are you sure?”
But she had been feeding me lines all night, and since we’re both trained improvisers, she just went with me:
“yeah”
But then she could see the look on my face when I called my best friend over to the stage:
“Ok… Hey Rick….”
The audience held their breath, and Rick brought the ring he had been holding in his pocket all night- the ring that I had bought months before, the ring I had hidden in a piece of furniture after staying up late nights doing “work”.
That’s when it hit her.
A sketch about looking for engagement rings? A birthday party three weeks after my birthday? Calling her parents to tell her all about the party and inviting them? She hid her face in her hands as I got down on one knee,
And asked her to do me the honor of becoming my wife.
And the best part?
She said yes!!
-And we got it all on video.
As my girlfriend-now-wife says in the video, I AM a show-off, but I initially got the proposal on video because I knew I would want to remember it forever. I also figured family members all around the world would like to see it too; Laura’s family is in Seattle and mine is scattered throughout Florida.
Watching it on video two years later, I still get the same butterflies in my stomach now as I did then. I was so happy, and so thrilled with that moment, I just wanted to share it with as many people as possible. I even made a website www.BonesLovesLaura.com just to let cyberspace share in it too.
What I didn’t expect were the comments! So many people have written in and the comments are so wonderful. Many of them are married people, or engaged people who were looking for innovative ways to propose, or just wanting to know what other people have done.
Our video is one of the most popular REAL proposal videos. There are some companies that have tried to copy our success by putting “rejected proposal” videos, but they’re all just bad advertising, and in my opinion, bad taste. Why ruin such a nice moment?
I think people like to see other people happy, and that’s why “feel-good” shows like Extreme Makeover Home Edition and Oprah do so well. Strong emotions bring us all together, and tears of joy are the best. I do a lot of things, I write, I act, and I have businesses, but this is far and away the best thing I have ever done.
And now I don’t have to lie to her anymore!
Wanna see it? Go here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7leiaqD-7DU
**************************************************
I wrote the above for an article that someone asked me for. I found it on my computer, and didn't know what to do with it, so here it is!
My name is Bones Rodriguez, and I met Laura Valpey doing improvisational comedy in New York City. We were friends first, fell in love, and had been living together for two years when I had to start deceiving her.
We had so many funny conversations that I had made some of them into short sketches, and even turned one of them into a book- “Captain Kirk’s Guide To Women”, due out in February from Simon and Schuster.
I told her I wanted to perform seven sketches during my birthday party that year- which was to be held 3 weeks AFTER my birthday.
That was a lie.
I also told her that my mother was coming up to visit because she had a reunion that weekend, and she would come see the show- just to spend time with us.
That was another lie- but it just snowballed after that.
All of the friends I invited to the birthday party had to lie to her too- they all knew the truth, but were sworn to secrecy. The comedy group we were in together had to lie- they all memorized lines, and produced a show all built around the same secret:
I was going to propose to her that night.
In fact, I had written seven sketches all to set up for the fifth one- the one where “the couple” (we played ourselves) discusses engagement rings, and the unskilled guy needs tips from the girl.
We performed sketches about looking for the TV remote, sketches about internet dating, and sketches about sex. The audience started out nervous- we were all waiting for the big scene- but after a while the laughter came and they seemed to forget why they were there.
But I couldn’t let it go; The entire night I was unfocused, stuttering, and forgetting my lines left and right. My poor girlfriend had to keep feeding me my lines, but she just figured I was nervous because I had written the entire show.
Then came the “ring sketch”, and the audience stopped laughing.
You could hear a pin drop as we went through the scene, a chuckle here, and stifled laugh there. About 2 minutes into it, they loosened up, and they laughed easily again. I was playing the incompetent guy, not knowing how to look for a ring, classify a ring, or buy a ring. Laura said her lines about the weight, color, and style.
Then Laura’s line came: “I wanna be surprised”
Unbeknownst to her- this was my big moment. This is why I had written these sketches, and this is why I was onstage. This was why 50 people were in the audience, and why my mother flew up from Miami. This is the moment when I could stop lying, hiding and misleading.
I went off-script, and delivered a different line: “Are you sure?”
But she had been feeding me lines all night, and since we’re both trained improvisers, she just went with me:
“yeah”
But then she could see the look on my face when I called my best friend over to the stage:
“Ok… Hey Rick….”
The audience held their breath, and Rick brought the ring he had been holding in his pocket all night- the ring that I had bought months before, the ring I had hidden in a piece of furniture after staying up late nights doing “work”.
That’s when it hit her.
A sketch about looking for engagement rings? A birthday party three weeks after my birthday? Calling her parents to tell her all about the party and inviting them? She hid her face in her hands as I got down on one knee,
And asked her to do me the honor of becoming my wife.
And the best part?
She said yes!!
-And we got it all on video.
As my girlfriend-now-wife says in the video, I AM a show-off, but I initially got the proposal on video because I knew I would want to remember it forever. I also figured family members all around the world would like to see it too; Laura’s family is in Seattle and mine is scattered throughout Florida.
Watching it on video two years later, I still get the same butterflies in my stomach now as I did then. I was so happy, and so thrilled with that moment, I just wanted to share it with as many people as possible. I even made a website www.BonesLovesLaura.com just to let cyberspace share in it too.
What I didn’t expect were the comments! So many people have written in and the comments are so wonderful. Many of them are married people, or engaged people who were looking for innovative ways to propose, or just wanting to know what other people have done.
Our video is one of the most popular REAL proposal videos. There are some companies that have tried to copy our success by putting “rejected proposal” videos, but they’re all just bad advertising, and in my opinion, bad taste. Why ruin such a nice moment?
I think people like to see other people happy, and that’s why “feel-good” shows like Extreme Makeover Home Edition and Oprah do so well. Strong emotions bring us all together, and tears of joy are the best. I do a lot of things, I write, I act, and I have businesses, but this is far and away the best thing I have ever done.
And now I don’t have to lie to her anymore!
Wanna see it? Go here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7leiaqD-7DU
**************************************************
I wrote the above for an article that someone asked me for. I found it on my computer, and didn't know what to do with it, so here it is!
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
The Texas Tigers and Billy Joe Bush
The Texas Tigers and Billy Joe Bush
Everyone had high hopes for the Texas Tigers; they were the newest, and rumored to be the best baseball team ever put together.
Although they had only been playing together for a little while, they knew how to bring out the best in each other. The fielding was excellent, the hitting was bar none, and the pitching was fantastic.
Billy Joe Bush was a big baseball fan who had an inheritance big enough to buy several small countries. He chose to buy the Texas Tigers, and he had a plan to have them go undefeated.
Billy Joe Bush knew that if the pitcher pitched a no-hitter, that there was no way they could lose.
He ordered a no-hitter.
The pitcher told him that he would do his best, but that fortunately, the team had excellent fielding, and they had all been working on their hitting. Even the pitcher was batting .300.
“I said, a no-hitter” Billy Joe Bush made himself clear.
The pitcher explained that of course, he would love to deliver a no-hitter, but that winning the game was what the team's real goal was.
“Am I an idiot? Of course winning the game is the goal- and that's why I'm telling you to pitch a no-hitter. And if you don't pitch a no-hitter, I'm breaking up the team, and selling off each of you. End of discussion.”
“Billy, We can win the game without pitching a no-hitter-” the pitcher tried to explain
“If you don't pitch a no-hitter, I am taking apart the team.” and Billy Joe Bush walked away.
On the day of the big game, the whole team had heard about the order. None of them wanted to go out on the field, no one wanted to play, but since they were professionals, they pulled it together. They knew the fans were there for them to play their best, to do their best, and they would.
But the pitcher had to deliver a no-hitter, or it would all be over.
So, the pitcher took the mound, the players took the field. The crowd cheered, and got ready for the first pitch. The Texas Tigers knew they couldn't let everyone down.
The pitcher looked out to the hitter, looked into the eyes of the catcher, and did what he had to do to make Billy Joe Bush happy, keep the team together, and play more games in the future.
First pitch: High and outside. So was every pitch after that- He walked every batter.
The Texas Tigers lost the game miserably, but he pitched a no-hitter-
Just as Billy Joe Bush ordered.
Everyone had high hopes for the Texas Tigers; they were the newest, and rumored to be the best baseball team ever put together.
Although they had only been playing together for a little while, they knew how to bring out the best in each other. The fielding was excellent, the hitting was bar none, and the pitching was fantastic.
Billy Joe Bush was a big baseball fan who had an inheritance big enough to buy several small countries. He chose to buy the Texas Tigers, and he had a plan to have them go undefeated.
Billy Joe Bush knew that if the pitcher pitched a no-hitter, that there was no way they could lose.
He ordered a no-hitter.
The pitcher told him that he would do his best, but that fortunately, the team had excellent fielding, and they had all been working on their hitting. Even the pitcher was batting .300.
“I said, a no-hitter” Billy Joe Bush made himself clear.
The pitcher explained that of course, he would love to deliver a no-hitter, but that winning the game was what the team's real goal was.
“Am I an idiot? Of course winning the game is the goal- and that's why I'm telling you to pitch a no-hitter. And if you don't pitch a no-hitter, I'm breaking up the team, and selling off each of you. End of discussion.”
“Billy, We can win the game without pitching a no-hitter-” the pitcher tried to explain
“If you don't pitch a no-hitter, I am taking apart the team.” and Billy Joe Bush walked away.
On the day of the big game, the whole team had heard about the order. None of them wanted to go out on the field, no one wanted to play, but since they were professionals, they pulled it together. They knew the fans were there for them to play their best, to do their best, and they would.
But the pitcher had to deliver a no-hitter, or it would all be over.
So, the pitcher took the mound, the players took the field. The crowd cheered, and got ready for the first pitch. The Texas Tigers knew they couldn't let everyone down.
The pitcher looked out to the hitter, looked into the eyes of the catcher, and did what he had to do to make Billy Joe Bush happy, keep the team together, and play more games in the future.
First pitch: High and outside. So was every pitch after that- He walked every batter.
The Texas Tigers lost the game miserably, but he pitched a no-hitter-
Just as Billy Joe Bush ordered.
The Texas Tigers and Billy Joe Bush
The Texas Tigers and Billy Joe Bush
Everyone had high hopes for the Texas Tigers; they were the newest, and rumored to be the best baseball team ever put together.
Although they had only been playing together for a little while, they knew how to bring out the best in each other. The fielding was excellent, the hitting was bar none, and the pitching was fantastic.
Billy Joe Bush was a big baseball fan who had an inheritance big enough to buy several small countries. He chose to buy the Texas Tigers, and he had a plan to have them go undefeated.
Billy Joe Bush knew that if the pitcher pitched a no-hitter, that there was no way they could lose.
He ordered a no-hitter.
The pitcher told him that he would do his best, but that fortunately, the team had excellent fielding, and they had all been working on their hitting. Even the pitcher was batting .300.
“I said, a no-hitter” Billy Joe Bush made himself clear.
The pitcher explained that of course, he would love to deliver a no-hitter, but that winning the game was what the team's real goal was.
“Am I an idiot? Of course winning the game is the goal- and that's why I'm telling you to pitch a no-hitter. And if you don't pitch a no-hitter, I'm breaking up the team, and selling off each of you. End of discussion.”
“Billy, We can win the game without pitching a no-hitter-” the pitcher tried to explain
“If you don't pitch a no-hitter, I am taking apart the team.” and Billy Joe Bush walked away.
On the day of the big game, the whole team had heard about the order. None of them wanted to go out on the field, no one wanted to play, but since they were professionals, they pulled it together. They knew the fans were there for them to play their best, to do their best, and they would.
But the pitcher had to deliver a no-hitter, or it would all be over.
So, the pitcher took the mound, the players took the field. The crowd cheered, and got ready for the first pitch. The Texas Tigers knew they couldn't let everyone down.
The pitcher looked out to the hitter, looked into the eyes of the catcher, and did what he had to do to make Billy Joe Bush happy, keep the team together, and play more games in the future.
First pitch: High and outside. So was every pitch after that- He walked every batter.
The Texas Tigers lost the game miserably, but he pitched a no-hitter-
Just as Billy Joe Bush ordered.
Everyone had high hopes for the Texas Tigers; they were the newest, and rumored to be the best baseball team ever put together.
Although they had only been playing together for a little while, they knew how to bring out the best in each other. The fielding was excellent, the hitting was bar none, and the pitching was fantastic.
Billy Joe Bush was a big baseball fan who had an inheritance big enough to buy several small countries. He chose to buy the Texas Tigers, and he had a plan to have them go undefeated.
Billy Joe Bush knew that if the pitcher pitched a no-hitter, that there was no way they could lose.
He ordered a no-hitter.
The pitcher told him that he would do his best, but that fortunately, the team had excellent fielding, and they had all been working on their hitting. Even the pitcher was batting .300.
“I said, a no-hitter” Billy Joe Bush made himself clear.
The pitcher explained that of course, he would love to deliver a no-hitter, but that winning the game was what the team's real goal was.
“Am I an idiot? Of course winning the game is the goal- and that's why I'm telling you to pitch a no-hitter. And if you don't pitch a no-hitter, I'm breaking up the team, and selling off each of you. End of discussion.”
“Billy, We can win the game without pitching a no-hitter-” the pitcher tried to explain
“If you don't pitch a no-hitter, I am taking apart the team.” and Billy Joe Bush walked away.
On the day of the big game, the whole team had heard about the order. None of them wanted to go out on the field, no one wanted to play, but since they were professionals, they pulled it together. They knew the fans were there for them to play their best, to do their best, and they would.
But the pitcher had to deliver a no-hitter, or it would all be over.
So, the pitcher took the mound, the players took the field. The crowd cheered, and got ready for the first pitch. The Texas Tigers knew they couldn't let everyone down.
The pitcher looked out to the hitter, looked into the eyes of the catcher, and did what he had to do to make Billy Joe Bush happy, keep the team together, and play more games in the future.
First pitch: High and outside. So was every pitch after that- He walked every batter.
The Texas Tigers lost the game miserably, but he pitched a no-hitter-
Just as Billy Joe Bush ordered.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
"Leblon James" slam dunks Miami nightlife
************************************************************
"Leblon James" slam dunks Miami nightlife
Never bet against King James.
What does famous basketball star Lebron James have to do with my hangover?
Well, it's not what you think...
I decided to go out in Miami with a rather tall chilean female friend of mine,
and we ran into a bunch of Spaniards who kept saying that Miami was "puta madre",
which by my understanding means "whore mother".
Well, by the end of the night, I would know what they meant.
The four of us went out to The Delano, one of Miami's hottest, swankiest hotels,
where women can just stand around and be bought drinks, rooms, and
bentleys if they're patient. I turned my head for a second to talk to the spaniards
when some guy with a glint in his eye offered to by my vertically advantaged friend a drink:
"Have you had a Leblon James yet?"
"huh?"
"It's Leblon and Orange Juice"
I laughed, and maybe interrupting his flow,
"That's hilarious" I said.
Of course, I got the joke, that LebRon James (with an r) is a basketball star,
and so having Leblon (a brand of Cachaca) with orange juice was representative of him.
It was sweeter than a vodka and oj,
but not girlie, so I liked it.
We all liked it.
Well, the guy was nice enough to get us all a round,
and then another, and then another.
And at the Delano, that got pricey.
Frankly, I was thinking about going home with him myself!
We eventually left (sorry Delano guy) and went on to The Clevelander,
which is pretty much the opposite of The Delano, with people dancing
and rapping along to hip-hop beats all night.
We thought it was appropriate to order a couple of Leblon James' at the Clevelander
(Lebron plays for The Cleveland Cavaliers), but the bartender hadn't heard of it yet.
Once we explained it was Leblon with Orange juice,
the bartender laughed, and gave them to us on the house!
That's probably when we should have called the game,
but since we didn't pay for the first round, we made it up by ordering two more.
Well, about an hour into the dancing, just about when
Biggie was talking about how his crew does run-run, I felt it-
Leblon James had slam dunked on me.
I decided that I would put some money down on the next Cavaliers game,
because if King James' drink could do a number on me,
I'm pretty sure we'll see them in the final four this year.
******************************
"Leblon James" slam dunks Miami nightlife
Never bet against King James.
What does famous basketball star Lebron James have to do with my hangover?
Well, it's not what you think...
I decided to go out in Miami with a rather tall chilean female friend of mine,
and we ran into a bunch of Spaniards who kept saying that Miami was "puta madre",
which by my understanding means "whore mother".
Well, by the end of the night, I would know what they meant.
The four of us went out to The Delano, one of Miami's hottest, swankiest hotels,
where women can just stand around and be bought drinks, rooms, and
bentleys if they're patient. I turned my head for a second to talk to the spaniards
when some guy with a glint in his eye offered to by my vertically advantaged friend a drink:
"Have you had a Leblon James yet?"
"huh?"
"It's Leblon and Orange Juice"
I laughed, and maybe interrupting his flow,
"That's hilarious" I said.
Of course, I got the joke, that LebRon James (with an r) is a basketball star,
and so having Leblon (a brand of Cachaca) with orange juice was representative of him.
It was sweeter than a vodka and oj,
but not girlie, so I liked it.
We all liked it.
Well, the guy was nice enough to get us all a round,
and then another, and then another.
And at the Delano, that got pricey.
Frankly, I was thinking about going home with him myself!
We eventually left (sorry Delano guy) and went on to The Clevelander,
which is pretty much the opposite of The Delano, with people dancing
and rapping along to hip-hop beats all night.
We thought it was appropriate to order a couple of Leblon James' at the Clevelander
(Lebron plays for The Cleveland Cavaliers), but the bartender hadn't heard of it yet.
Once we explained it was Leblon with Orange juice,
the bartender laughed, and gave them to us on the house!
That's probably when we should have called the game,
but since we didn't pay for the first round, we made it up by ordering two more.
Well, about an hour into the dancing, just about when
Biggie was talking about how his crew does run-run, I felt it-
Leblon James had slam dunked on me.
I decided that I would put some money down on the next Cavaliers game,
because if King James' drink could do a number on me,
I'm pretty sure we'll see them in the final four this year.
******************************
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Starfleet Shoes- from Payless.
Payless ShoeSource - Mens - Stpl X Airwalk - Stpl X Airwalk Star Trek Terrain Starfleet Edition Hi Skate
They should go really fast or something, shouldn't they?
Well, will they help you with the ladies?
OF COURSE!!!
They should go really fast or something, shouldn't they?
Well, will they help you with the ladies?
OF COURSE!!!
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
I'm leaving for 6 months- want our apartment?
I just booked a job that is taking me to Miami for 6 months!
I leave this week, and Laura's going to follow mid-November.
We are looking for someone to stay in our second bedroom while we're gone.
If you know of anyone who is looking for an apartment,
feel free to forward this info to them- probably the best deal in the city!
(I have NOT sent this to everyone, so if you think "he MUST have sent it to _____"
you might be wrong- please forward it just in case)
Thanks so much, and if you're curious about what I'll be doing down there,
go to: http://www.LegalizeCachaca.com come join the movement and get free drinks!
Bones & Laura- 917-450-7925 & 917-549-5496
****************************** ************************
Partially furnished bedroom in a FULLY furnished large 2-bedroom apartment
Available from November to April (dates somewhat flexible).
97th street off Central Park West
Lots of space including large closet in the bedroom
Wireless internet & Cable, 50" plasma TV, Xbox 360 (Bones' baby) w/ROCKBAND!
Full kitchen with new stove and more appliances than Martha Stewart's TV kitchen
(Married people get kitchen stuff), including a Kitchen-Aid Mixer (see what I mean?)
White Baby-Grand Piano in the living room (classy!)
Own Terrace overlooking Central Park,
half a block from the NEW WHOLE FOODS!
Same block as B and C train, also super close to the 1, 2, 3 trains.
Doorman building.
Laundromat in building.
We might come back from Miami for a few short visits,
but generally you'll have the apartment to yourself.
Everything is included at $1600/month.
1st and last month deposit requested.
Call anytime for more info!
Bones & Laura- 917-450-7925 & 917-549-5496
I leave this week, and Laura's going to follow mid-November.
We are looking for someone to stay in our second bedroom while we're gone.
If you know of anyone who is looking for an apartment,
feel free to forward this info to them- probably the best deal in the city!
(I have NOT sent this to everyone, so if you think "he MUST have sent it to _____"
you might be wrong- please forward it just in case)
Thanks so much, and if you're curious about what I'll be doing down there,
go to: http://www.LegalizeCachaca.com come join the movement and get free drinks!
Bones & Laura- 917-450-7925 & 917-549-5496
****************************** ************************
Partially furnished bedroom in a FULLY furnished large 2-bedroom apartment
Available from November to April (dates somewhat flexible).
97th street off Central Park West
Lots of space including large closet in the bedroom
Wireless internet & Cable, 50" plasma TV, Xbox 360 (Bones' baby) w/ROCKBAND!
Full kitchen with new stove and more appliances than Martha Stewart's TV kitchen
(Married people get kitchen stuff), including a Kitchen-Aid Mixer (see what I mean?)
White Baby-Grand Piano in the living room (classy!)
Own Terrace overlooking Central Park,
half a block from the NEW WHOLE FOODS!
Same block as B and C train, also super close to the 1, 2, 3 trains.
Doorman building.
Laundromat in building.
We might come back from Miami for a few short visits,
but generally you'll have the apartment to yourself.
Everything is included at $1600/month.
1st and last month deposit requested.
Call anytime for more info!
Bones & Laura- 917-450-7925 & 917-549-5496
I'm leaving for 6 months- want our apartment?
I just booked a job that is taking me to Miami for 6 months!
I leave this week, and Laura's going to follow mid-November.
We are looking for someone to stay in our second bedroom while we're gone.
If you know of anyone who is looking for an apartment,
feel free to forward this info to them- probably the best deal in the city!
(I have NOT sent this to everyone, so if you think "he MUST have sent it to _____"
you might be wrong- please forward it just in case)
Thanks so much, and if you're curious about what I'll be doing down there,
go to: http://www.LegalizeCachaca.com come join the movement and get free drinks!
Bones & Laura- 917-450-7925 & 917-549-5496
****************************** ************************
Partially furnished bedroom in a FULLY furnished large 2-bedroom apartment
Available from November to April (dates somewhat flexible).
97th street off Central Park West
Lots of space including large closet in the bedroom
Wireless internet & Cable, 50" plasma TV, Xbox 360 (Bones' baby) w/ROCKBAND!
Full kitchen with new stove and more appliances than Martha Stewart's TV kitchen
(Married people get kitchen stuff), including a Kitchen-Aid Mixer (see what I mean?)
White Baby-Grand Piano in the living room (classy!)
Own Terrace overlooking Central Park,
half a block from the NEW WHOLE FOODS!
Same block as B and C train, also super close to the 1, 2, 3 trains.
Doorman building.
Laundromat in building.
We might come back from Miami for a few short visits,
but generally you'll have the apartment to yourself.
Everything is included at $1600/month.
1st and last month deposit requested.
Call anytime for more info!
Bones & Laura- 917-450-7925 & 917-549-5496
I leave this week, and Laura's going to follow mid-November.
We are looking for someone to stay in our second bedroom while we're gone.
If you know of anyone who is looking for an apartment,
feel free to forward this info to them- probably the best deal in the city!
(I have NOT sent this to everyone, so if you think "he MUST have sent it to _____"
you might be wrong- please forward it just in case)
Thanks so much, and if you're curious about what I'll be doing down there,
go to: http://www.LegalizeCachaca.com come join the movement and get free drinks!
Bones & Laura- 917-450-7925 & 917-549-5496
****************************** ************************
Partially furnished bedroom in a FULLY furnished large 2-bedroom apartment
Available from November to April (dates somewhat flexible).
97th street off Central Park West
Lots of space including large closet in the bedroom
Wireless internet & Cable, 50" plasma TV, Xbox 360 (Bones' baby) w/ROCKBAND!
Full kitchen with new stove and more appliances than Martha Stewart's TV kitchen
(Married people get kitchen stuff), including a Kitchen-Aid Mixer (see what I mean?)
White Baby-Grand Piano in the living room (classy!)
Own Terrace overlooking Central Park,
half a block from the NEW WHOLE FOODS!
Same block as B and C train, also super close to the 1, 2, 3 trains.
Doorman building.
Laundromat in building.
We might come back from Miami for a few short visits,
but generally you'll have the apartment to yourself.
Everything is included at $1600/month.
1st and last month deposit requested.
Call anytime for more info!
Bones & Laura- 917-450-7925 & 917-549-5496
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
I joined Start-Trekkin' New York!
So, a few weeks ago I joined Start-Trekkin', New York's premier Star-Trek bassed Improv group. We performed at the Big Apple Comic-con this weekend, and had a blast:
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Star Trek Gag Reel Leaked!
Someone leaked this gag reel.... you just can't trust us Trekkies around that kind of stuff, and not expect it to be leaked!
Star Trek Gag Reel from Salvor Hardin on Vimeo.
I'm sure Paramount is SO upset that they get some free publicity out of this "leak"...
Is J.J, Abrams playing with his "mike" a lot?
Star Trek Gag Reel from Salvor Hardin on Vimeo.
I'm sure Paramount is SO upset that they get some free publicity out of this "leak"...
Is J.J, Abrams playing with his "mike" a lot?
Sunday, October 11, 2009
I was on the AOL LATINO homepage!
I woke up today, and someone told me I was on the AOL LATINO homepage-
And there I was:
And there I was:
And there was the link to the article: CLICK HERE
And to go to my specific episode (Asthma): CLICK HERE
I was on the AOL LATINO homepage!
I woke up today, and someone told me I was on the AOL LATINO homepage-
And there I was:
And there I was:
And there was the link to the article: CLICK HERE
And to go to my specific episode (Asthma): CLICK HERE
Friday, October 09, 2009
Do we have a better way?
Eric Worre talks about what the economic climate means for you and for what he calls "The Machine"... Tell it Eric!
Do we have a better way?
Eric Worre talks about what the economic climate means for you and for what he calls "The Machine"... Tell it Eric!
Wednesday, October 07, 2009
Duuuuude- Kids Shreds on Accordian
Wow- the things you can do with practice...
Probably won't help him get laid though.
Probably won't help him get laid though.
Duuuuude- Kids Shreds on Accordian
Wow- the things you can do with practice...
Probably won't help him get laid though.
Probably won't help him get laid though.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
HONEST "Instant Pay Machine" Review
This system is EXACTLY what you want in an Online Money-generating system: Ease of use, and MULTIPLE STREAMS!! You can get it here now:
