Do They Like Me?

I am writing this on Christmas Day. It's been rolling around in my head, and I wanted to be sure to write this out...

A lot of people are looking for a partner, and some of them have it all backwards. They often ask "Do they like me?" they also look for a certain "resume". If they can find someone with the right resume, who also likes them- BINGO! They go for it.

 Here's what I mean: Imagine a girl who is very polite, she's tidy, she's sexy. She always wears heels, works out, and takes care of herself. She's "nice" too.

These are fantastic lines on a resume.

Many guys would see these traits and say "Damn, that's the girl for me!" and then twist and turn themselves hoping to get her to like them.

 This is resume seeking.

Women do this even more; they look for a guy who makes a certain income, drives a kind of car, lives a particular lifestyle. Hopefully, he's "nice" too... Or at least polite. Often, a woman will find herself dating a guy with a great resume, but saying to herself "I SHOULD like him..." and years later she realizes that she doesn't.

 I don't think there's anything wrong with having a list of things you want in a partner, but what if you started with different list?

 Do you like YOURSELF when you're with them?
What parts of yourself do they bring out in you?

No one wants to be chosen solely for their resume; they want their partner to love THE REST OF THEM too- foibles, imperfections, hurts, and fears.

So, maybe instead of polishing up the resume, why not work on the actual INTERVIEW part?

Newtown Massacre and its opposite

While the Newtown Massacre was happening this morning...

I was being a brontosaurus, falling into an audience of kindergarteners, and first and second graders just to make them laugh. I had complained when I had to wake up at 5am this morning to get into a van and drive for two hours to do 2 shows. I was complaining because it felt so early to go make kids laugh and clap and have a great time while learning about things like teamwork and cooperation.

I don't think the guy who committed the Newtown Massacre was complaining. I imagine that he was preparing to make his big statement, and do the OPPOSITE of what I was going to do that day. He was busy preparing to destroy hundreds of lives in Newtown, and no matter how many times we hear about these shooting sprees, see them, and cry about them, they keep happening.

 I consider myself a tough guy, but I just lost it over this one, and I don't know why. Maybe the Newtown Massacre was the last straw. Anyway, I grabbed a camera because I wanted to remember how I felt and what I was thinking:

 

Newtown Massacre and My Tears

I hope I see this in the future, and realize that this event is what changed everything. Then it might all be worth it. The strange thing is that all morning, I was singing a song by my friend Joel Henry Stein that is all about peace called "This Xmas". One of the lines is "What I want this Christmas, is write 'Peace' on Santa's Wish List". Later on he says "And you may say that the time will come, but it can never be now... and you may say you want it too, but you just don't know how...."

Well, what are we gonna do now?

What is the OPPOSITE of this tragedy, and how can we do MORE OF THAT?

I Love My Cousin

Is there a reason I love my cousin?

I went ice skating the other day in Bryant Park here in New York City. It was a friends’ birthday, and she thought it might be fun to go ice skating, since it was free-

-except for the skate rental, hot chocolate, and lock for the lockers.

But that’s cool- I am proud to live in a socialist city like that, where parts are free, and parts are for pay- it makes a profit every year- and it’s FREE!

Well, as we saw the VERY long line to get in, I walked around the rink just to see if we could find our friend skating around.

That’s when I saw them.

There were two little guys, about 7 or 8 skating together, and they kinda looked like each other, so I assume they were brothers. The bigger one was helping the smaller one keep his balance, but the bigger one was pretty wobbly too. You could tell he was just trying to “be there” for the little guy as he held the railing along the outside.

As they gripped the handrails, and carefully put one foot in front of the other, I remarked “Wow, it must be great to have a big brother to help you out like that, huh?”

Well, the bigger kid looked at me as if I had said the silliest thing in the world:

“He’s my cousin.”

And that’s all he said.

He said it like “Duh, I love my cousin, and he needs help, so this is what I’m doing- THIS IS WHAT COUSINS DO…”

Well, I suddenly had the biggest lump in my throat as they just continued on with this ice skating thing, totally ignoring the (dashing) older man with the ridiculous observation.

I was reminded of my own cousin Mark.

I love my cousin Mark.

He’s my only first cousin; he’s taller, older, better-and-younger looking, he’s a lawyer, and taught me to like Star Trek and Prince. He was who I got to play with when we had family dinners,  and now that we’re older we still sit next to each other and talk and laugh about… Star Trek, and Prince.

…and maybe the hottest girl on whatever show.

He recently got married, and I got to be his best man. I got to do a best man speech for him, and everyone knows I love my cousin Mark.

You probably have a cousin who is instantly your friend. Sure, you might disagree on things (like him not liking J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek), but just because you are family, you’re friends.

And it’s not like your Toy-and-Parental-Attention-Stealing siblings.

Why do I Love My Cousin? I’ve never heard of “Cousin Rivalry” have you?

I remember a time when Mark and I both slept over at our grandmas house, and we were small enough to be in the same bed. I wanted to sleep under the covers, but he was terrified that there would be no air and I would suffocate on his watch, so after a long debate (I love my cousin- he’s a lawyer now) we settled on my sleeping under the covers that were knit with holes in them.

When I was really sick with Stevens Johnson Syndrome, he came to see me which could not have been very easy. I needed someone to play with while I was recovering, and he took a shot so he could be around me (And this was in his early teens- there must have been more exciting things to do than be around your sick cousin… BUT THAT’S WHAT COUSINS DO).

I love my cousin, so it’s easy for me to do stuff for him and with him too.  I’m sure there’s a cousin that you feel the same way about. It’s fun to talk about the same old things, new things, and the new things about the old things. Now our conversations are about being married, and our parents lives changing. Maybe we’ll be talking about being parents ourselves and having our kids play together. Who knows?

Your cousin might be older, younger, close, or far, but you know that at times like the Holidays, birthdays, weddings, funerals, or any other special occasions, you remember your cousins. There’s something about the “kids of your parent’s brothers and sisters” that just brings them close enough without the headaches.

Sure, they’re crazy, and they come from that other part of town. Maybe they’re constantly going into business and want you to work with them, or buy their thing, or vote for their crazy candidate. But you know when the time comes, they’ll say “I love my cousin”, and they’ll claim you as their own.

You can trust your cousin.

There might even be a time when you feel like you’re on shaky footing, and the ice may be thin and slippery, but if you’re lucky to have a cousin like mine, you know that they won’t let you slip and fall through.

And if you’re REALLY lucky, they know that about you too.

Share this with someone if you know what I mean by “I love My Cousin“

How Do You Find an Agent... and Keep One!

Hey Future Stars!

So, one of my personal not-really-a-joke jokes is "One of these days I'm going to start taking my career seriously, then look out!" I say that because I often do these big great gigs, and then I stop for a while... and then I get back into the swing of things.

Well, this week I went to see my friend Lisa Gold do her great seminar for actors: "How to Get and Keep an Agent" See, every once in a while, I get worried about my agent relationship, so I went for the "Keep an Agent" part.  But a lot of my friends often ask me:

"How Do You Find An Agent, Bones?"

I often get into a conversation where I reminisce about the days when I freelanced for a while with several different agencies, until I eventually had to sign with my favorite. My advice to How Do You Find An Agent is really anecdotal, but when pressed, I can do a seminar on it too!

But the way that Lisa Gold puts her work together, you can tell that she really enjoys helping actors get ahead in their careers.

 Well, after I went to her seminar this week, I'm SUPER-RECOMMENDING her work. I told some people to go to the live seminar, but now I see that Lisa has them available for download.

Even though I am a professional working actor and have a career going, Lisa has changed my approach to many of the ways I'm tackling not only getting representation, but so much more about the biz that I didn't even know I needed to know!

The seminar download is just a few bucks, and since I make money online instead of waiting tables I just decided to use some of that cash to pay for my actor training. That made sense to me. So, the next time someone asks me "How Do You Find An Agent", I'm sending them to Lisa!

I give Lisa Gold, Act Outside the Box, and How to Get and Keep an Agent my HIGHEST recommendation.  Here's a LINK  to find out more about it.

 I hope you get it, love it, and use it like I did.

 Let Your Light So Shine Before Men,

Bones

Wait- I missed the Victoria's Secret Special?

OMG.

 I missed it?

 I MISSED IT?!?!?! 

I got a text from my cousin saying that his wife was "SURE those boobs were fake"
 and I was like "Wha....? Who...?"

 And he said "You're NOT watching the VICTORIA'S SECRET special?"

 I jumped from my seat, and turned on the TV: Just in time to see this:

She was just leaving the stage, and I didn't even know The Victoria's Secret Special was on!

I was on a Webinar learning how to make money online, and it was so good, I totally lost track of time! The Victoria's Secret Special was the last thing on my mind because I was learning how to make money to BUY all of the stuff! 

 So, my wife was like "Ohhhh, you missed it? Maybe it'll be on Demand."

 I obviously am The Luckiest Guy to have found my wife.

 So, instead, I just went to the Internet and found this:



Problem Solved :-)

 Now, I'll say this- These are some skinny women.

 I mean, I'm all into fitness, and my wife does trapeze and is strong and thin, but the women in Victoria's Secret are skinny. I'm all for women in underwear, and these are absolutely gorgeous, but I wouldn't mind seeing a woman with some good curves.

Maybe there needs to be a SPECIAL Victoria's Secret Special for women with hips!

 Does anyone agree with me?

Seth Godin's Formula For Success in 2012 and Beyond

How To Succeed in The "New Economy" according to Seth Godin...

Let me make this clear- I think Seth Godin is brilliant. I love how he writes, and how he has been on the cutting edge of marketing and the world of business from an IDEA standpoint instead of the money standpoint. He makes a clear distinction between doing something for a PURPOSE versus doing something for an "advantage". "Tribes" is probably his most powerful book, but I have almost all of them, and I eagerly pre-order a Seth Godin release the second I hear about it.

What does Seth Godin say now?

This video clip has Seth Godin sitting down with some dude talking about why people now have to take their own financial destinies into their own hands. "Pick Yourself" he says, and I've been doing it for years now.
 
Seth Godin says "Pick Yourself"

 I keep telling people that I don't have to ask permission from anyone where or when I can go eat, go to the bathroom, release my book, play HALO, or do ANYTHING because I create my own income... Some days I'm better than others, but that's not the point! What do YOU want to do in life? WHY should you create a new independent course for yourself?

Will you follow Seth Godin's advice?

If you want to start being more independent, I suggest you take a look at how we're creating incomes with this blog. You don't need to wait for anyone's permission- you can really "Pick Yourself"

PICK YOURSELF HERE