A little Valentine's Day Sketch from me to you:
VALENTIME'S DAY - NIGHT
Boy coming home....
GIRL
Hey Honey! How was your day?
BOY
Teaching English to disinterested youth can be difficult….
GIRL
Well, I want to make it all better- Happy Valentime's Day!!
BOY
Oh yes…. Happy Valentine's Day to you!
GIRL
I love you SO much; Every day I Thanks God for you!
BOY
I feel the same way. I THANK God for you, and all of the time we have together, and all of the time we have left.
GIRL
You say such nice things. You always have nice things to say on Valentime's day.
BOY
Well, it's easy with you; Hey sweetie…. I'm excited about the dinner you said you made for ValentiNe's…
GIRL
Yeah, I just had to use my special recipe after I unthawed the meat.
BOY
You Unthawed the meat?
GIRL
Yeah. And I squoze out the juices.
BOY
You Squoze them? Sounds delicious.
GIRL
We'll have a meal, and then we can conversate all night.
BOY
Did we EVER conversate? The word is CONVERSE
GIRL
Oh, like “Converse Sneakers”?
BOY
Ok, that's it.
GIRL
What?
BOY
I can't take it anymore- SPEAK ENGLISH!
GIRL
What do you mean?
BOY
We've been together for 3 months, and I can hardly understand you.
GIRL
What if I was to talk good?
BOY
I'm an ENGLISH TEACHER. This won't work.
GIRL
But we loves each other!
BOY
Maybe it was the sex, but I can't stand it anymore- my family raised me to speak ENGLISH!
GIRL
So what? That's a mute point.
BOY
MOOT point
GIRL
I'm sure I'll learn adventurally-
BOY
Did you just say ADVENTURALLY? That's not even in the realm of-
GIRL
I could care less!
BOY
COULDN'T care less- if you COULD care less, then…what's the problem?
GIRL
Your whole family are snobby- the way yous act.
BOY
IS Snobby- The way YOU act!
GIRL
YOUS act!
BOY
YOU act! I HATE this!
GIRL
(crying)
How can you be so mean?
BOY
Oh.... wait, I’m sorry, you’re right. I am being mean. Maybe we can figure something out.
GIRL
Oh thank you, I KNEW we could come to some sort of agreance.
BOY
Fuck this- I’m out!
GIRL
You’re breaking up with me today?- On Valentime's day??
BOY
It’s VALENTINE'S!!!!! With an N!!!!
GIRL
Nalentime's Day?
BOY
Ugh- I'm leaving now.
GIRL
You're leaving irregardless of my feelings?
BOY
I’m leaving- REGARDLESS of your feelings.
GIRL
Wait what does Irregardless mean?
BOY
REGARDLESS.
GIRL
Well then- Touche'
BOY
Good bye (leaves)
GIRL
(crying again)
This was the worst Nalentime's Day ever!
